9 Ways To Break Up
Relationships turn sour. The one you thought you couldn’t live without soon becomes a stranger. A quarrel with your best friend could roll into months or years of not keeping in touch. Lovers who were once in “love” with promises of forever part ways without so much as a goodbye. Everyone has had one of those. Sometimes, it begins to feel like fate is playing her pranks on you.
Here’s the deal though. Not all relationships are meant to work out. Some are just meant to be the best lessons. An old goes thus “giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes it means you’re strong enough to let go.”
Regardless of the reason, people who have not had any positive contributions to our lives shouldn’t be forced to stay. The problem then is, finding the least hurtful way to break up with them without breaking yourself. Breaking up allows for a new level of freedom and setting new goals as well as achieving them.
1. Be sure about your decision to call it quits
It may just be a bad day, not a bad life. Overreacting when you’ve had a bad day is never reason enough for a breakup. For example; yelling at your friend or girlfriend will only take few minutes. It will never worth throwing years of friendship or relationship away over. If you are then thinking of breaking it all off, search your heart, search your soul. Are you not the actual problem? When you are sure, however, it’s best to stick to that decision.
2. Help them understand you’re throwing a towel in
Ok, this might sound annoying, but I say it’s only fair. As obvious as a situation might be to you, it could turn out harder to comprehend for the other person. Let both parties be clear about the individual decision. It is important to be totally honest without either side feeling confused.
3. Do it personally
For the love of all that is personal, just make the break up a face to face thing. Break ups often require a certain level of reformation to emotional living and life in general. Talking in person makes it easier to cope with and curtails chances for trouble. It is the most open and straightforward way of showing you cared about them.
Even though the love might have really reduced, breaking up in person shows a degree of respect and sign that this person was once important to you. In the occasion of friendship. Serious relationship or a lethal family member, one should probably explain and be kind enough to avoid hurtful statements.
P.s: If your mind is set on your decision, don’t agree to try for a while longer. It will only set you back.
4. Understand that the future might include reconciliation
Now, hold up. This does not necessarily mean “getting back together.” Fine, maybe you could work it out one day but remember you broke it off for a reason. Not allowing you a breathing space could be quite toxic.
That means, at least allow yourself some “alone” time. Take this time to reflect and if necessary work out a solution or map out the things in you that need to be changed. If some day you get back together, great! That time is not now! Don’t throw out mixed signals and most importantly, be true to yourself.
5. Don’t assume silence means it’s over
Many people including some of my own friends do this. They say it’s easier and move on to seeing other people without actually breaking up with the other person. It almost feels like being a ghost. Trust me; it’s quite tempting but not cool. I mean, it’s too weak a move. You disappear, stop reaching out and think the other person should take the cue? Silence is not always better than bullshit.
6. Choose the right time and place
There will never be perfect timing for a breakup, especially when you care about them. There are however some situations one should avoid lunching into. Don’t break up over a text, when in the middle of a fight, in front of other people or when your partner is dealing with a predicament. Meet at a very private place where both of you will feel most comfortable to interact.
7. Choose your words carefully
First of all, prepare your partner thoroughly for this conversation. Don’t jump in on them like a big shock or surprise when they’re busy doing some other stuff or talking about something else.
Next, use personal statements. This will hardly reflect judgmental feelings and precisely get your message across. You may say; “I no longer get the sparks” or maybe, “I think I want to spend my time alone right now.” Also, mention the strengths of the relationship and that of your partner. Don’t forget to add the good old times too. It surely will make feel a little better.
8. Allow for response from your partner
Breaking up can dig up a whole lot of bad reactions; tears, anger, bitter words and even no reaction at all. When sharing your feelings, don’t talk down to your partner.
In fact, be prepared for their reaction and the fact that they might not accept your decision at first. Although the initial reaction may be scary and pain filled, the awkwardness surrounding it all then to die down shortly. After then, you can really talk and make progress.
9. Accept that it might be hard to say good bye and avoid blaming yourself
Do you feel like you can’t do because it’s hard, terrible and probably awkward to go through? Well, it’s totally normal because you are still human. Let your partner see how hard it is for you to break up with him or her.
Breaking up does not always mean that you’re heartless or selfish or maybe even wrong. It means you have carefully weighed your options and reasons. You’re opting to move on should be respected in order to close that chapter of your life.
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