5 Dating Tips For The Shy Guy
If you are a reading this, chances are you are the shy guy, because you are looking for tips on how to ask a person out on a first date. Looking at your peers scoring dates, and no one looks at you can lower your esteem quicker than a sinking ship. By summoning up all your courage or using the Internet, you ask someone out and the answer is yes, what should you do next? Here are five dating tips for the shy guy. You will find the person of your dreams, as long as you do not give up.
1. Be Polite and Courteous
The Universal Rule of all dating practices is always be polite and courteous. No one likes a snobby, pretentious guy who is loud and rude. Even movies tend to reward the good guys, who treat people well. Being shy is no excuse to act like a jerk, this is the easiest tip to perfect. Simply be kind to everyone, and be well mannered at all times.
Sure, there will be some who will test you, that is a challenge for you: remain courteous even when you find it difficult. Sometimes it takes courage and strength to be the good guy, someone whom everyone admires. If your date does not appreciate it, it is not your lost. Move on and find someone who sees your hidden strength. This dating tip for the shy guy is more for you to grow as a person than scoring a date.
It is important to remember why you are going on a date: to find a potential life partner. You would want to meet someone who knows that you are shy, yet willing to stick around because of your good points. Being polite and courteous helps you score high points during a date, but overall it helps you score well in social skills and get a girlfriend.
2. Take an Interest
When you are a shy guy on a first date, you might struggle to find topics of conversation. The best way to keep it alive is to ask about your date’s interest. If you do know before and, asking about it is not only good manners, it is great ice breaker. Your date might be nervous too, and once you find a topic that is safe, you will find that the atmosphere will change.
Good questions to start with is what is your date’s interest, and then go on from there. If you do not know much about the interest, do not pretend, instead ask to elaborate. More importantly, do try to pay attention when your date is talking. Nothing fizzles out a date quicker than someone pretending to listen. Ask questions, more importantly, respect the fact that it is your date’s passion.
If you are lucky, you will share common interests, which will help you tremendously during a date. Try not to boast or take over the conversations, because that would seem rude. Your date will like it more when you do not try to control the whole conversation. Be prepared to the fact that you might have to share your passion too. Make a list, and choose the safest option first, such as reading and music.
However, if both of you have no common passion, treat the date as a practice round. Just because you might not be for each other, does not mean that you cannot still have a good time. You might be surprised that dates can still end well despite having nothing in common.
3. Be A Man
Yes, you are shy, but you are also a man. What be a man is, is take the bull by its horns and hope for the best. Talking to someone else is daunting, or trying to keep someone else interested in what you are saying is a challenge. A man can handle challenges, and you can also handle failure like a champ. Face your fears, and accept the fact that you have some dating difficulties, but this fear might not have to last forever. The more dates you go, the easier the process gets for the shy man to start having a conversation.
Be a man also involves body language and posture. A manly posture is puffed chest and a straight back, exude confidence. If you do not have it, fake it. Try to pretend that you are a confident person daily until you meet your date. Some people encourage that shy guys fake it until they make it, which seems like good advice.
Aside from that, you should choose to be your best self, be a person whom you dream to be. You can use Clark Kent as an example. He is often portrayed as a shy guy when he is Clark Kent; but when he is Superman, he exudes confidence and he is still a super good guy. Once he found his true love, he shows his good strong side to win her over.
4. Pick What Interests You
When you ask a person out, you have to set a venue and time. You can pick a place or event that you love, and use that as a conversation starter. Even if your date cancels, or you are stood up, there is still a chance that you can enjoy yourself. Go on a date with yourself, it sounds cheesy but you deserve a reward for being brave and asking someone out.
Selecting places that interests you have another advantage, it helps you relax quicker. You can show your good side to your date, and be less nervous quicker than if you were to do something new. However, in addition to that, your date can see you shine in your own element, and is more likely for you to land on a second date.
If not, do not worry, it is not the end of the world if your first date does not end well. A lot of guys have to go on a few first dates to find their intended partners. Picking what interests you just helps you feel less stressed when going out with a new person for the first time. Plus, it is easier than trying to figure out what your date likes.
5. Practice Makes Perfect
The old adage is your friend, you need a lot of practice to be good at asking people out on a date. Every person is different, there is much to learn about human interactions in general. Practice having conversations, gauging disinterest and fake enthusiasm is helpful when going out on a date. It also saves a lot of time, because if you know that the date is not working out, why not end it on a good note early?
You can never have too much practice. Treat all failed meetings as a lesson in flirting, and soon you will shed the shy guy label and be a normal bloke. Going on many first dates may be depressing and it can lower your confidence, but remember that your potential partner is out where, waiting to say yes to you. All these dates help you become the strong person, whom is persistent and unyielding in looking for a life partner.
Once you find your dream partner, these dating tips for the shy guy will still serve you well on subsequent dates. And you will realize that these flirting tips are valuable for life, not just to help you get through a difficult stage in life.