5 Things It’s NOT Okay To Ask On A First Date
You are going on a first date, it might be that you are on the first date of your life! Congratulations on taking a big step in life, you might be wondering what you should talk about. Going on a date can be a wonderful experience, once you have everything done right, there might even be a prospect of going onto a second date. However, what should the topics of conversation be?
There are a lot of options: hobbies and life aspirations are good ice breaking topics to start with. Your date could appreciate an open ended question like: “tell me more about yourself.” But there are few things that will never be okay to ask on a first date, it is important to avoid asking any of these five.
1. Would You Marry Me?
That question, along with all marriage and wedding questions, are strictly not first date material. While you might think that it is quirky or funny, your date might disagree. Cracking that joke card will make things even worse, because talking about getting married as a joke shows the little regard you have. Some people view marriage as a sacred bond, man or woman.
If you have accidentally asked this question, and your date seems uncomfortable, apologize immediately. You can explain about being nervous on a first date, but do not say that it is a joke. You might be able to salvage the date if you just apologize. More importantly, never bring up this topic for the next few dates either, not even to ask your date about their dream wedding.
You can ask your first date about dream jobs, or dream car, but never about the sacred holy matrimony and the works. Most dates view this question as creepy and rude, some may think that you are over eager and might scare them away faster.
2. How Much Did You Spend On Your Looks?
Your date looks like a million dollars, but it is rude to ask how much exactly. Worse, they look wonderful, while you look scruffy. Asking this question would make you seem like a person who does not care about personal appearances, this might swing to or against you. Everyone knows that first impression counts, there is no surprise when your date turns up looking his or her best. It is insanely rude to ask about cost to look that great.
Instead of asking how much, simply compliment on the look. Your date spent time and money to look good for your first date, so you should appreciate it. At the same time, be considerate and avoid going to places that will clash with the look. Muddy, wet or dirty places are a no go if your date is dressed for the opera. To be fair, if you want to take your date picnic on a first date, give enough warning so that there will be no shocking surprises later.
If you do ask your first date this question, better back up with a compliment. If you were to ask this question while frowning, chances are your date might just last until you finish asking that question. More importantly, do not expect an honest answer, or any at all. Your date might fire this back at you, so be prepared to answer why you look the way you are.
3. Why Are You Still Single?
Curiosity did kill the cat with this double edged sword, though you do not mean things the bad way when you asked this question. No one likes to be asked why they are still single, and you asking this question might open up some deep scars that will ruin the date. Refrain from asking this question, ever! No matter how curious you are about the wonderful person before you, who happens to be single.
Nowadays, there are Facebook and Twitter that will show you how a person operates behind the scenes. While it is not okay to ask this on the first date, you can find out a lot about your date by following the person on social media. If you have been set up by a friend or family, then there is a human source you can ask.
If you really want to know, break out your sleuthing skills, just avoid asking this single question if you can help it. And if you asked your date this question, be prepared to give your own answer. Possible neutral answers for this question includes: I was waiting for you, or I was busy with my career. Do not launch into a lecture about your past dating experiences.
4. How Much Money Do You Make?
Money issues are not a topic on a first date, therefore it is not a okay to ask this question on a first date. To ask this bluntly indicates that you might be a miner (a nicer word for gold digger) or someone with an inferiority complex. If your date earns more than you, so what? This question not only ruins the mood, but also set a suspicious scene where your date can no longer think that this is an innocent date.
If you do run out of topics, here are a few conversation starters for your first date. You can ask your date to describe what they like about their job. Even asking about challenges about your date’s career is a better question that the money earned. It is bad enough if you ask the question, you will ruin the date when you boast about how much money you make.
Money is never a good topic to talk about on a first date. Keep this question to yourself, how much money your date makes is none of your business ever. If you get asked this question, it is up to you whether to answer it, but surely it will ring some alarm bells in your head.
5. What Went Wrong In Your Last Relationship?
A person goes into the dating scene for many reasons, and being reminded about their last one is not one of them. Asking your date about the disaster previous dates is not a good way to start or end a date, because it is rude. You might be curious about how things ended, but your date wants nothing more than to forget. Understandably, you do not want to waste your time being the rebound person, or dating a cheater, but that is the risk that you will have to take.
And if your date indulges you and tells you why, be prepared to run. A sob story on the first date can spell trouble. Usually, first dates are all about setting up the best first impression. If your date is crying about the last relationship, it might mean that it is far from over. You might really be the rebound date, and hence wasting precious time with this date.
While it is not okay to ask about previous dates on your first, getting an answer is the worst way to start a first date. You could get asked the question right back, and you will have to prepare for it. It is rude to ask about past relationships to a person, you could just do some investigation via social media to find out the answer. Similarly, if you do not want people to know about your ruinous past dates, better to keep all your posts private, ie. Only Me.