10 Things Matchmakers Will Never Tell You
Perhaps, your first contact with your partner wasn’t a thing fate had sculpted; you were linked by a matchmaker (an agent, an acquaintance, or a friend). There are many things they wouldn’t tell you, not because they don’t know but because you ought to find out on your own.
A matchmaker can help you find the right partner, but they won’t hand you the manual to make the relationship work or be around all the time to fix leaking pipes. You have to take charge yourself. Don’t fret; we have just all you need to know about having a sweet relationship with your matched partner. Here are ten things you need to know:
1. Discussion is Crucial
A good conversation is the aorta of all relationships. You and your partner must be able to flow with each other while discussing, and even enjoy talking. This is the time you don’t need to cut down on phone bills–make more calls. Thank goodness for social networks, chatting every day will go a long way too. Also while discussing, ask important questions such as health history, and preferences. Through discussions, you learn more about each other every day.
2. Friendship is of Utmost Importance
The stance of ‘love at first sight’ has always been disputable. Even if you fall in love with the matched individual from the moment you both locked gazes, request for deep intimacy is not the best next move. It is important that you let things play out as they should, be friends with them for as long as it takes to upgrade to dating them.
It may take months, even years to establish a firm friendship with them, but at the end, it’s worth the wait since it could last forever. Turn a deaf ear to whizzes about getting married quickly just because your age says it’s time you did. Marriage is not a university degree program; it takes being ready, trusting and understanding all there is to. Go out on dates together, spend much time with each other, and learn all you can about this person you want to date.
3. Attitude Matters
Some people are used to darting the phrase ‘that’s just the way I am’ at people in defense of their harmful acts or reactions. If you want to have a beautiful lasting relationship, first impression (where you might be delivering rehearsed actions) isn’t all you need to worry about. ‘Long time perception’ matters. For the sake of your relationship, ditch all toxic attitudes that can make your partner uncomfortable. You can also adopt some new views such as respecting your partner’s decisions.
4. Dealing with Addictions
If your partner has habits such as smoking, drugs, or alcohol, it is your choice to proceed with the relationship or severe it while it is still tender. The matchmaker isn’t going to be the one dating them, so their opinion on what is best for you does not matter as much as yours. It is up to you to do a reality check and see what future implications are.
5. Food Bonding
Your food preference may not match your partner’s. For example, your partner may be a vegetarian, and or a non-veg, or the vice versa. You may have to be flexible if you choose to spend the rest of your life with them. Eating together is a beautiful thing in all homes.
You can also know your partner’s personality through food. Table manners and eating habits will be unsheathed when you eat out at diners, restaurants, or at home. Cooking together can also be a romantic endeavor, try it.
To know and connect with your partner, you have to be patient, accessible and flexible. You should realize if your needs, goals, wants, and virtues agree with each other or not. It is important that you both have mutual feelings. This is why you need to befriend each other and decide if you are compatible.
This topic may dig up a huge embarrassment. Finance is one thing I wasn’t quite comfortable with discussing with my partner when we began dating. But no one would walk you through the financial status of your spouse, except they do themselves. Before you start planning out ‘forever,’ inquire about their economic history; are they prudent or extravagant in spending? Do they believe in ‘saving for the raining day’? Or, do they want things to be bought for them but do not buy for people? You need to talk things through before your neck is stuck too deep in the relationship.
8. Sexual Intimacy
Sex has held in place and broken many relationships. How much do you know about your partner’s sexual preferences? Do you find it uncomfortable discussing sex-related topics with your spouse? Is your partner chaste and you are ready or not willing to wait? Before you decide to spend the next couple of years together after your wedding vows, it is crucial that you talk about sex with your partner and know their preferences.
Before you walk down the aisle with your partner, have you two talked about to have children or not? It is a huge and shared misconception that everyone would love having their children. Not all want their ‘little selves’ running around the house, putting things out of order.
You need to be sure about wanting kids together or not and arrive at an agreement before saying ‘I do,’ so it doesn’t come back to hurt your marriage. And also, do you or your partner has any fertility issue; low sperm count, or any uterine disease? Don’t be scared of asking questions; there is no other way you get to know your partner more intimately.
Things may not always work out the way you planned. Your partner’s detour is no excuse for postponing your life. It is true that the space they left behind is empty each time your eyes swipe a glance at it. Still, you have to keep living even though you miss them. Get busy, try new things; register for a language class, go cycling. Live!