6 Ways To Make Step Families Work
Statistics say that around 70% of people who have a divorce eventually remarry again. If you and your partner have children from the previous marriage and you are getting ready to get married, there could be a lot of challenges to face.
The first time you got married, it was just about you and your partner, but now kids are also involved. Here are some tips to make a step family work and help you to make things easier.
1. Know that there is a challenge
Before re-marrying again you and your partner will have to face certain challenges. Both of you have to understand that it is not going to be easy. Remember, that you can overcome most of the challenges if you work together. Creating strategies on how to raise children together will be helpful. Also, acknowledge that there are issues that are not possible to overcome. If your partner and you are not willing to accept each other children in your life, this relationship will never work. Before you make any permanent decisions, have an honest discussion about it.
2. Listen to your children
In the best cases scenario, your kids will be happy to have more siblings. But this is not always the case. When kids are younger, it is easier to blend two families together. But if they are around teenage years you might face a lot of difficulties. Try understanding the feelings of your children. They will need time to adjust to the new situation, and you should give it to them. It is possible that they will act up, but it is understandable until a certain level. It is important for them to know that they can talk to you about any problems. You also need to understand that your kids have their other parent and try not to intervene with this relationship.
3. Talk to your partner
Try avoiding making decisions with your partner only when you are arguing. Blending a family together will not be an easy task, and you should keep on discussing everything about it. It is important that you talk about the problems you are facing outside an argument.
If you are constantly fighting it will not bring any benefits to the relationship. If you have certain problems with your partner´s kids, you should not be afraid to talk to them about it. Also if you feel like they are mistreating your child, explain it to them. You both should look at each other´s kids as your own and make the decisions together.
4. Have discipline
You might think that your kids are perfect because you have raised them so well. But your partner´s kids might feel like a complete disaster. When your family is blended together, you have to start fresh.
You probably have raised your kids with different methods than your partner. Having a discipline in your home is very important. You have to decide on these strategies together. Find ways to discipline your kids that are acceptable to both of you.
5. Have relationship with your step children
You might have a perfect relationship with your spouse, but it doesn’t mean that their kids will accept you straight away. You will need to work on creating a relationship with their children too. Find out their interests, likes, and dislikes and try to become a part of their life positively. But remember that you are still the adult in this relationship. Create loving relationship, but remember that sometimes you have to be strict with them.
6. Support your partner’s relationship with their child
It is probably hard to love your partner´s children the same way you do yours. It is absolutely understandable. But you also need to accept the same things when it comes to your partner. Parents and their children share a special bond and you have to support it.
If you try to get in the way of your partner’s relationship with their child, you will be the one who will get excluded. If you support their relationship, it will create more harmony between all of you.