Ways To Break Up Amicably
Sometimes, good-bye is for the best, especially when a relationship veers towards being so detrimental and toxic, or if you are no more in love with your partner. These relationships could be ones with relatives, friends or a lover.
Bad relationships can increase the risk of getting high blood pressure, weaken the body’s defense system, resulting in headaches, insomnia, lower one’s self-esteem, and cause depression and anxiety. So risking all these for the sake of ‘love’ or ‘family tie’ isn’t really sane. A relationship with a relative, friend, can be as important and intense as one with a lover, and a breakup can be just as overwhelming.
Before you cut off a family member, first be calm and take your time. Don’t make decisions based on a whim because of a conflict, take a breather and see if you can straighten things out, or not.
You need to know that there is no painless way to break up with someone. No soothing words, cooing can take the pain away. It may hurt you as much as it hurts them. But eventually, you get over it, time they say, heals all. It is also important that you make the breakup a little easier for both of you by avoiding some common mistakes people make while they go through breakups.
Before you make up your mind about calling it quits, make sure that you really want to do this; just because you both had a big fight, or they disappointed you doesn’t mean you should throw in the towel. Make sure it’s not a decision over some trifling matter, especially if it is a blood relation, as they say, blood is thicker than water.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself and answer truthfully
- Do you feel good about your relationship with this person at the moment?
- How is your communication with them?
- Has the relationship caused you any setbacks?
- How does this person respond to conflicts?
- Does this person accept the person you are?
- Do you accept the person they are?
- Would staying cause more harm than good?
If your reply to most of these questions is negative, then it’s definitely time to bid them bye.
Below are the tips on how to break up with anyone in a painless way:
Tips To Breakup Without Pain
1. Do It In Person
I quite find breaking up with people through IMS or text messages unserious and childish; the only exception to this is if the relationship is long-distance. Make sure to fix a meeting with the person in the public, a restaurant or park, or any neutral setting.
Breaking up in public helps curb temptations that may affect your decision; it also allows you to leave if anything goes wrong. It is normal for the person to break into tantrums or cry; you don’t have to stay while this goes on. They may want to know why you chose to do this, be sincere and polite about it; you don’t have to hurt them more.
2. Right Timing
Public holidays, family funerals, anniversaries, or while going through an ailment are not good times to end a relationship. There is never going to be a perfect time to do this, but you can at least choose the less bad ones. Make sure the person isn’t going through a personal crisis and don’t do it in the middle of a fight, which could be a mistake because you might not mean it and end up regretting it.
3. Prepare The Person For The Conversation
The person may have no idea why the meeting is on; it is up to you to not shock them completely by dropping the bomb out of the blue. Prepare them for what is coming, “we need to talk” does the magic of readying them for an important discussion.
While you are getting to it, begin subtly by pointing out positive things about the person (don’t even think of exaggerating anything because you need to be as truthful as you can be). Talk about the strength of your relationship, what you liked, and what worked.
4. Don’t Be Dramatic About It
You don’t have to beat around the bush when the next thing is telling them it’s over. Be clear that the relationship is absolutely over. Don’t give them hope that things may still work out after you’ve made your decision known to them.
Be quick about telling them you want out and why you do. Answer any questions but don’t get swirled in. If they begin to act funny, leave.
5. Show Some Empathy
If you’ve ever been dumped before, you may understand what your partner goes through after you break up with them. Make them feel better but don’t lose grip on your emotion while doing this.
6. You Can’t Be Friends Yet
“.. Can we at least be friends?” is the question most partners ask after breaking up with them. The answer is no, for now. You both need to heal, separately and staying away from things that could trigger the good memories you both had together is important.
7. Keep Your Distance
After severing the tie, it is important not to call, text, and keep interactions short. Do not go to places you might meet them. Should they call or text you, keep your response non-personal. Never text or call them just to “check on them,” it’s not your responsibility anymore.
You may also want to take down the stuff in your house that reminds you of them and avoid the places you used to visit together.
8. Rely On Your Friends and Family
Talking about what hurts you helps so much. Don’t be scared to seek emotional support from those who care about you. You may also want to have fun with them, go out to the movies, park, and concerts just to take your mind off the ordeal.
9. Keep Things Cordial
If the breakup was with a relation, then there are chances you may see them at family gatherings. To avoid uncomfortable situations, let your family members know you are fine with being at the same place together with them.
It is not cool to put them in a situation where they have to choose between the two of you. You don’t have to have a long chatter with the person, just greet them and move on.
I hope you have the courage to go on with your decision and heal after the breakup quickly.