How To Deal With An Introvert Partner
I am a party freak who loves going around with my friends. I always find delight in being with my friends and do try to get in touch with them at least twice a week. I can say, my friends, are the backbone of my life after my husband.
I am married and love my husband so much; however, he is an introvert. For the past ten years that we have been married, we are still together and love each other like before. I guess you are wondering how we survived, right? Well, before we reached this stage, we had a lot of quarrels and fights due to our different personalities.
Often time, I would try to force him to go to parties and make him do what extroverts normally do, but he showed his distaste towards them. Forcing him to parties is one of the main reasons we quarreled a lot back then. To be frank, back then, I did regret that I chose him because he was too dull for my liking but the love I had for him did propel me.
I can still remember when I told him to visit a therapist because of his “anti-social” attitude and I accused him of having a “suicide tendency.” He said he couldn’t because that is his personality. I got angry about this but had to calm my nerves with our love and what we have in common. Although our personalities being opposite to each other obeyed the famous saying that “opposite things do attract ”; the same personalities did, however, affect our healthy communication.
It was until I got hold of some tips that I understood my husband very well. I learned how to deal with his personality, and got more experience over time. I now find a lot of delight with him, and our communication is no more affected by our personalities.
If you have a similar problem, then this article is the right item for you as it has the best tips that you can find on how to deal with an introvert. This article is born from my experience with my husband. I want you to have a good relationship with your partner despite your different personalities. The tips espoused here have been tested by various people apart from me.
1. Do Not Be Too Suspicious Of Him
Often, I had quarreled with my husband whenever he refused to follow me to a social setting. I normally accused him of shying away from me because he thought I had planned an evil scheme for him. However, when I got to understand him better, I understood that it was his nature of not wanting to be in a place that is full of crowd. Whenever your introvert partner refuses to follow you to a social setting, do not think or accuse him of shying away from you or that he has an evil plan against you.
Moreover, the silence of an introvert does not translate to their disinterest in you. Sometimes, they do find comfort by sitting around you without them speaking a word to you. This fact doesn’t mean they do not love you; they just want to be mentally alone while you spend some time with yourselves.
2. Introverts Are Not Always Shy
The greatest mistake many people do make is that they often assume that all introverts are shy and that they are not good public speakers. This assumption angers many introverts who are great public speakers. Come to think of it, my husband is an introvert, but his public speaking skill is much higher than mine, and keeps a conversation that touches a lot of things. However, my advantage over him is my ability to socialize better than him.
It is a fallacy of hasty generalization when we categorize introverts to be shy, and extroverts to be always outspoken. Introverts only have less tolerance to external stimulation compared to the extroverts. They do charge their energy from within compared to the extroverts who get energy from people. It should be of greater knowledge to note that there are some shy extroverts just like we have shy introverts. It will be unfair to regard a bold introvert as a shy introvert.
It is the case that an introvert will not choose to go to several social events on a particular day or even in a week. They often strive better on just an event or two in a week or two weeks. This fact does not mean that they are antisocial, they just need to recharge themselves before they go to any social event because they produce their energy from within themselves.
Introverts do have their socializing time; however, you need to learn how to balance their socializing time with their quiet time for you to enjoy them better. If you force them to go to too many events in a week, they would be drained, and it would take a longer time for them to get their alone time recharged.
They are just like a cell phone as they need to be recharged for them to be able to perform better. If they are forced to go for too many events, they will need to recharge themselves for another event with their alone time. Whenever an introvert refuses to go to a particular party, do not force them. It is just the case that they are not yet in their socializing time; you need to learn how to balance the two for you to deal with them better.
4. Give Them Some Space
One thing all introverts love is their privacy. They sometimes need some moment to think on their own and reflect on things around them. The introverts cherish their privacy a lot and take it as a time when they can listen to their thoughts (meditation).
Despite the fact that my husband and I love each other, I respect his privacy a lot. Do not be offended whenever an introvert chooses to be alone, always respect their decision. It is just a period for them to recharge themselves. Do not bother about whatever he does during his private time, he only does that to refresh himself, and he need not be disrupted.
Respect their privacy by giving them some space, and you will be happy when he bounces back on you lively after he is done with his recharge. He will be happier and more engaging than before.
5. You Will Have To Make Some Compromises
Often time, you will need to make some compromises whenever you are dealing with an introvert. You do not need to force an introvert to go to a particular party if they do not want to go because forcing them does have an aftermath. The case may be that they are in their alone time. You need to be ready and do make some compromises whenever you are dealing with them. Usually, introverts are good for a few social events in a week; more events can traumatize them. You just need to give them some time to regain their social strength after a series of events.
6. Choose A One-On-One Discussion
Anyone who chooses to speak to an introvert in a place with a lot of people is just wasting his time. Introverts do not like mingling or staying in a place that is full of people. Apart from that, they do prefer a one-on-one discussion to other types of discussions. If you want to discuss anything with an introvert, you need to choose a one-on-one discussion.
In addition to that, introverts spend more energy when speaking on the phone than when speaking with an individual in person. This is because they can remain silent whenever you are speaking with them in person but are usually forced to speak when they are speaking with you on the phone. Always feel free to text an introvert instead of calling; call only when it is necessary, and always choose to talk to them in person.
7. You Need To Be Careful With Them
Introverts are always careful not to bother you by telling you what they want from you. They always want you to read their mind, and do what they want. It is easy for you to offend an introvert without you knowing because they will not tell you what will anger them. You might not know whenever they are angry with you as they will not tell you. There might be some time when you will do something which you do not count as a big deal, and which might anger an introvert. Introverts will not inform you of their anger until such a thing reaches the climax when they will explode with anger.
In conclusion, it is effortless to deal with an introvert when you know how to handle them. You need to follow these tips well for you to be able to deal with them perfectly.