Ways To Deal With A Clingy Boyfriend
The ups and downs of being in a relationship create some form of mixed feelings and anxiety when moving into a new relationship. The tension is even high when it is your first relationship because you do not know what awaits you. And if you have a clingy boyfriend, then the equation is different.
This is even worse when you have previous, bitter experiences. These experiences, coupled with what you have read or heard about can make you feel hyperactive. The situation becomes even worse when your partner is the clingy type. There is a school of thought that women are the only culprit when the topic of clinginess arises. However, I beg to differ, as some men are worse off than women are, and this can be very irritating.
Being the clingy one in a relationship attracts some form of misconception from your partner. Signs like jealousy, nagging and bowing out of proportion minor issues are some characteristics of a clingy person. Have I prompted you? You may be staring right at your guy now and asking yourself, is he clingy? But before I even delve into the signs, let me take you through why some people are clingy in a relationship. People can be overly clingy due to:
Lack of Self Confidence, Inferiority Complex
Many people become clingy because they lack self-confidence or feel inferior. The way people think about themselves can affect their relationships in several ways. Such people become restless or agitated when their partner has a cordial relationship with others with good looks or high in position than them.
Another source of clinginess is insecurity. With the fear of losing their partners, some people become insecure when their partner is away from them. They tend to call or send text messages, as many times as possible to satisfy their curiosity that you are not with another person. This in some way assures them that you are not out there cheating.
Yes, it is lovely of you to call and check out how your partner is doing. But, calling more than ten times in one hour can be annoying and irritating. This can create mistrust and cause your relationship to fail. We are all one way or the other clingy in our way but being overly clingy is not healthy.
You may have experienced any of the above circumstances, so now let me take you through some signs you are dating a clingy boyfriend.
1. They Always Need Reassurance
Is it not boring and irritating when someone always ask “Do You Love Me,” “Will You always be With Me” blah blah blah? I am not saying it is wrong to ask that, but it becomes super boring when your guy constantly asks that question.
However, that is what a clingy boyfriend wants, reassurance. He would always want you to reaffirm your love for him. The most worrying part is that no words can ever be enough for him, as he will always want to hear more. They do this to satisfy their insecurity and fear of losing you to another person.
2. Always Calling
Is your phone always flooded with calls and text messages from your partner, when not close to them? A clingy boyfriend can call you more than ten times in an hour, and this is one of the top signs you are dating one.
This becomes even more persistent if you are miles away from him like being on a trip. He does this because he may feel jealous and his insecurity will make him think you are cheating or doing something terrible.
They always want to keep a closer eye on you to know all your steps and whatever you are doing when you are away. So if you see this sign, you should be alert for even the worse.
3. Hell Breaks Loose If You Don’t Answer Calls
We all do miss some calls during the day due to several reasons. You may be locked up in an important meeting or having a busy day.
But then, you may come to meet numerous calls on your phone, and from a particular number, “that of your guy.” Wow, “what the hell” did he want to talk about? To find out, you decide to return his call and surprisingly, he will be like “I was just checking on you.”
He will then get furious and ask all sort of questions about your whereabouts, why you did not answer his calls etc. etc. My dear, if your guy does this, it is time to reconsider your relationship, because he is clingy.
4. He Always Misses You
“I Miss You,” how lovely and caring it sounds. We all do miss our loved ones when they are not around. Yes becomes they have some special impact on our lives. But is it not weird for a person you were with just an hour ago to start banging on calls to say “I Miss You.” That sounds like a clingy guy who wishes to be glued to you 24/7. He cannot live without you and always wish to be next to you.
Such things can be accommodated during the start of a relationship but can be annoying when it becomes a usual thing.
5. Monitoring Your Social Media Accounts
Clinginess is synonymous with jealousy. Some guys can track your social media account 24/7. They will go through all the comments on your page from a picture or a post you made. Be ready for volumes of questions when a flirty friend decides to call on “sweetheart” while commenting.
He will then begin to ask questions like do you know him? Have you meet before and when and ask every detail about that person in question. With this, you notice that there is jealousy in the air. Some can also start posting on your wall for other guys to know that you are already hooked up.
It even becomes more dangerous when he begins to request for the password of your social media accounts. This can generally turn into a quarrel when you refuse to give it out. If you have such a guy in your life, begin to think twice.
6. Angry When You Go Out Without Them
A clingy boyfriend always likes to stick with you like a tattoo. He wants to be everywhere you are to have an eye on you. If possible, he may even join you at the washroom. So even if it is a night out with your friends or co-workers, he would want to be present at all cost. The irony of this is that clingy guys also get affected when they are spending some time out without you.
They cannot enjoy their moment out and will resort to thinking about you or call you throughout. So if you have a guy who gets a sleepless night when you are out, it is a sign he is clingy.
7. When He Takes the Relationship Much Serious Than You Do
Have you ever been in a relationship that your partner took it as a “World Cup” while you thought it was just a “UEFA match”? That is what clingy guys do.
They take the relationship seriously that any slight misunderstanding affects them greatly. So even if you do not return their calls or text during the day, they will continue to call until you give in. They make every effort to have the relationship work even if you want to opt out. Yes, this can be super boring and stressful, but until you get them off your back, be ready for more.
8. Feels Uneasy When You are in the Company of an Attractive Person
Are you dating a guy who feels uneasy and jealous when you are with a “handsome,” super “attractive guy,” being a co-worker, friend or business partner? Know that he is clingy. It is very right to feel jealous and protective sometimes to show how you love your partner.
However, when this becomes a daily routine, then it begins to raise eyebrows. Some guys go to the extent of questioning the said guy in a normal way but with a hidden agenda. I know of a friend who picked a fight with another guy, just because the guy had a very close relationship with his girlfriend. Is this not embarrassing. If you have such guy, sit down with him and set some parameters.
9. He Begins to Avoid Friends and Stays Glued to You
This reminds me of Jordan Sparks’ 2007 song “Tattoo.” I mean some guys can stick with you like a tattoo. They will gradually eliminate all their friends and make you their one and only. This is particularly very dangerous for any clingy boyfriend to practice.
I say this because, once the relationship breaks, you become lonely and brokenhearted with no friends. You may now have to seek companionship from the friends you ditched after your partner dumps you. Making your partner your best friend is important but never ignore other friends because you will need them one day.
10. They Make You Their Sole Interest
Clingy guys do not only ignore their friends and stick to their partner but also make partners their sole interest. They can forgo all interest like hobbies, meeting friends at the favorite joint or watching that important game. Yes, all these activities are relegated, and you become their focus and their whole world.
Such guys then begin to take an interest in the activities of their partners and join them in that. This can be very dangerous as already said, but that is what a clingy boyfriend wants.
11. Include You in all their Plans
There is nothing like having your own space when you are dating a clingy boyfriend. They will want to involve you in all their plans and expect you to do the same. So never, try going to that party without him even if it is solely by invitation. You will have to adjust to include him in all your plans and be ready to join him in what he does.
12. They Uphold Your Opinions and Reserve Theirs
Everyone has his/her own opinion on issues, and these are expressed explicitly without fear or favor. However, the once strong debater can become reserved and hold on to their views after their partner expresses theirs. They always hook onto and support the opinions of their partners whether good or bad.
This is another sign of a clingy boyfriend. They do this to avoid any disagreement or debate even if their opinions are valid. Now that I am done with the signs for those already dating let me now deal with singles planning start a relationship. Before you even say yes to him, know that the guy may be clingy if he exhibits these signs.
1. They are Fast to Request Your Number
We all do this sometimes, and there is nothing wrong with sharing phone numbers to hook up later. But it becomes weird when after just a few seconds chat, the next question it “can I have your number? This happens mostly on social media especially.
You add a new friend, and after a second, you receive a hi from him. To be courteous, you decide to respond and then just afterward, he goes like, where do you live, what do you do, can we share digits? Who does this, except he is clingy? Immediately this happens, press the panic button and stop chatting. He may not give up immediately and will continue to send messages but never give in to such a clingy boyfriend.
2. Unending Text Messages
Ok, so you did not pay heed to my advice and decided to share your contact with him, now expect the worse. Immediately you share your number, be ready for a flood of messages. The annoying part is that they do not wait for you to reply to previous messages and keep on sending others.
Doing this, they also expect you to reply as soon as possible, and when that does not happen, they begin to inquire what you are doing. If a guy you just met does these things, know that he is clingy and save you from him to avoid any stress.
3. Starts Talking About Himself Pretty Early
Knowing people you meet is very important so that at least you can relate well. But is it not too early and also strange for someone you just met online to reveal his entire life history after a few minutes of chatting? No, that is just not right. However, a clingy boyfriend would not mind going that way.
They can tell you their entire life story, from childhood to adulthood even though you have not met in person. This should get you worried because there are two things in place, he could be lying or in an unlikely manner, telling the half-true story. But do you need to know an encyclopedia of someone you just met online? The answer is a big no.
4. Quick to Ask You Out
All right, you also gave in to the flood of messages, in fact, tolerated him, and even took the lead sometimes. At least you wanted to get to know him. Now the next day you wake up to see his message “can we go out on a date.” Just a day of chat and you already asking for a date?
There is nothing wrong with asking someone for a date, so do not get me wrong. But when it comes in that fast manner from a person you barely know, then there is a cause for alarm.
5. He Asks Futuristic Questions
So after telling you much about himself, you agreed to his request for a date and settled on a meeting place. All you expect is to familiarize yourself with each other with no tough questions. But this would not happen when the guy is clingy.
A clingy boyfriend doesn’t mind asking futuristic questions on the first date as they are always in a hurry. They tend to go personal and by asking personal questions.
Yeah, you went in for this a date, but this guy will be planning another meeting. He will then be like, what if we go for a movie next week?
6. He Behaves as if You Are Already His Girlfriend
After giving him the chance to meet, he will then behave as if you guys were already dating. They start to be super caring and ask a question only a boyfriend may ask.
Questions like, how are your day going, what have you been up to, have you ate, etc. etc. He also updates you on whatever has is up to. You can say he is being cared, but I call this clinginess. This should only happen between a boy and girlfriend.
If you are experiencing some of the above points, then my dear friend, that guy is clingy. You can decide to end it all to save yourself or deal with it. In my next article, I will be discussing how to deal with a clingy boyfriend.