Is This Man The Right One For You?
Ah, yes. The infamous ONE. People have been pondering this question for years and years. What makes someone THE ONE? Will THE ONE ever be found? Does THE ONE even exist? How does one know if the person they’re with is THE ONE? This ONE everyone discusses is a topic of movies, TV shows, magazines, and girls’ nights over cocktails.
It’s been passed around from person to person, and everyone dreams of finding that person: the person who is so special that they are worth spending forever with. But, people build them up in their minds. They create these monsters of perfection who don’t exist. Therefore THAT ONE is impossible to find.
So, let’s keep it to simply the ONE: the person who is worth spending forever with, imperfections and all. Most of the time people’s response to the questions about the ONE will be something like, “Oh, well you will just know.” And this is not helpful for people who want to know if their person is the one! This article will help to clarify things a bit. It will help to provide a few ways to know if the man is the one. Each couple is different, but these are some general tips.
1. There’s a future there
If one can’t imagine having a future with the person they’re with, then get out. It’s time to leave! Or, if one imagines vacations together, spending time together, a house, a future, etc., then that’s a great sign. That means it isn’t just some fling. It’s the real deal! And if the couple talks to each other about the future as well without fear or embarrassment, then that’s an excellent sign!
2. Everyone’s on board
Never use people’s opinions on a relationship as the ONLY reason to stay together, but it can be a good sign, especially if the people who have the opinions are important people in one’s life. Their opinions matter, and if they think there’s a future there, it’s likely there is!
3. Important things are the same
Everyone’s different, and they often say opposites attract, but it can cause a lot of tension and heartbreak if the pair is too different from one another. Then, they have trouble seeing things from the other point of view, and arguments can be fraught with frustration and stress. But, if each partner has the same or similar viewpoints on important matters such as politics, ethics, children, religion, and money, then that is someone whose relationship is worth preserving!
4. It’s easy
One might often hear people say, “Oh, I dated around with a bunch of bad guys, but then I found so and so, and things were just so…easy.” They breathe a sigh of relief. They’ve finally found someone that doesn’t stress them out, doesn’t cheat on them, isn’t mean to them, and they just enjoy their company and are attracted to them.
The ONE is someone that a person can just be themselves with. They can relax with them. There isn’t a lot of difficulty or stress in getting into a relationship with them. It’s not a rollercoaster of ups and downs or playing mind games. It’s just two people who enjoy each other and want to be together.
5. Does “your heart cry out for him?”
There is a movie where that statement is a line. The father is giving his daughter some romantic advice, and he says, “Go to the one your heart cries out for.” It’s as simple as that! Be smart and wise and logical and blah, blah, blah, but in the end follow who the heart “cries out for.”
Let me explain this “just knowing” thing about the ONE a bit further. I hate to say it, but it is true. These tips are guides to help one see if their partner is the person they want to be with forever, but it’s true that what the heart says is what should be followed. Yes, follow good sense and preserve self-respect, but go with the gut.
The gut always knows! If he is a wonderful guy, and is kind, and is perfect in every way, but the gut is saying “No,” then he is not the ONE. Sometimes, people date for years, and then they break up and end a relationship that wasn’t right.
Then, the find someone new, date for a few months and get married soon after and are together for the rest of their lives! Love is a funny thing. What we try to make is so complex because of outside factors, but it’s quite simple. If one finds the ONE, then they’ll “just know.”
But, it’s easy for one’s judgment to be clouded by outside factors. These factors can be just what they read, see, or their parents’ and friends’ opinions, or maybe it’s just what they feel inside themselves about how relationships should be and what they look like.
All of these things can affect how someone thinks about the ONE. It can affect their decision on how to continue with the relationship. Especially in the western culture, we have this idea of the “perfect life.” I’m not exactly sure where it comes from, but perhaps it’s a combination of culture, history, and media, and it has created this beast about how we expect relationships to go! But the reality is, each person’s ONE is their ONE, and to let outside factors ruin that and destroy the potential for a lifelong happy marriage is so utterly sad!
So, take some time away to think about and analyze the relationship to see if it’s the right one. Think about the right things, but think about the wrong things too. Let the heart be the guide. Sometimes people forget just to decipher what they feel inside about a person or a situation or a decision.
Also, there are the age-old words: Whatever will be, will be. If it’s meant to be, it will be. So, if a breakup happens, then it wasn’t meant to be. If a relationship continues, then it’s meant to be. Follow the signs, follow the feelings, and go for it.
The ONE can be hard to find, but if we take the pressure of just a bit, perhaps our mind can clear enough to make the right decision. Check the above list and take stock of the relationship.
Is there a future with this man? Do we make plans and talk about doing life together? How do my friends and family feel about him? (I won’t let it affect my decision entirely, but it’s worth taking into consideration.) Do we have similar views and opinions on important matters? Can we see eye to eye on vital issues? Is it easy and stress-free? Or is it fraught with tension and despair? And lastly, what does my heart say about it? Is it him my heart wants?
These are all fundamental questions to ask about a relationship when things are getting serious, and one or both of the partners are deciding on taking that next step. Marriage is a big deal, so treat it like one! Good luck on the search to find the ONE.