10 Surprising Things That Ruin Relationships
When you are in a relationship, everything is in rose colored lenses, your new friend or partner can do no wrong. After the honeymoon period, things get serious, and suddenly you are no longer in a relationship. What happened? There are many reasons why relationships end: incompatibilities or people drift away, here are ten surprising things that ruin relationships.
During the initial stages of a relationship, you make an effort to look good. However, although once you know each other long enough, you might neglect some things. It is not acceptable embarrass friends and partners by looking like you had just emerged from a cave.
Neglecting self- care is not just about cleanliness and looking presentable, it is also your immediate surroundings. Bad enough that people who love you have to suffer from bad body odor, but a smelly room might be the last straw. People may feel as if they are not important enough for you to look your best, and wonder if they mean anything to you at all.
Coincidentally, not having a desire to be clean and presentable is a symptom of major depressive disorders. If you are feeling emotionally weak to the point of neglecting personal hygiene, seek help before you burn friendships.
2. Social Media
Social media is the new way to communicate and share life’s important events. A new baby photo, a wedding announcement. You can connect with your friends and family anywhere in the world, on the tip of your fingers. How could this wonderful connection ruin relationships? The answer is a lack of personal touch.
By connecting to the digital world through social media, you might gradually lose touch, when you have a disagreement. A relationship requires physical contact or at least a voice your friend or partner can listen to. Hiding behind a screen, clicking ‘Like’ or other reactions will not give you the connection you need to maintain a relationship.
No, social media is not a good tool to improve relationships, because it ruins it.
3. Unrealistic Expectations
Being put on a pedestal might make you feel powerful initially, but staying on it can be tiring. When you have unrealistic expectations in any relationship, it might take you by surprise when it fails. The stress of staying perfect may break the camel’s back. Dreams should remain dreams, and you or your partner should learn that a person has weaknesses.
How to handle being put on a pedestal? You like your partner worshipping you, but your relationship is not in the balance. For those who love being the god of the relationship, it seems lonely at the top. Consider coming down to Earth; you might enjoy better intimacy with your partner.
Over-thinking things can lead to over- worrying. Worry is a negative emotion that leads to nagging and constantly second guessing yourself. Before you know it, your relationship is ruined. It is natural to think about many aspects of a relationship, but you do not have to do it alone. With good communication, you can address many issues when you first get together.
Life always takes unexpected turns, overthinking about issues will only cause angsts. Let things be and go with the flow. In a relationship, some things are much better left alone. Worrying about everything can be annoying, and you might miss that hint because you are too busy thinking.
Children is a surprising reason couples break up over. For some people, having a child is a deal breaker; for others, the lack of kids. It is important to talk about this topic before going exclusive or serious, just in case your potential partner has a child hiding in the closet.
If you do not want a child, then it is best to come clean as well. You would save a lot of heartache and anger by being upfront about your expectations in a relationship. Discussing kids is no longer a taboo, but it remains a surprising factor that ruins relationships.
When you live in a developed country, you are spoilt for choice regarding food. People accept the fact that there are vegetarian or vegans due to religious or personal reasons. However, there is a limit to what most people consider a normal diet.
If your diet is too rigid, that may ruin your relationship, especially when your partner has no intention of joining you. You want a cheeseburger, while your partner insists on a sugar-free- organic- soy- tofurkey on gluten free bun, chances are you will be eating alone.
7. Power Struggles
The fun part of having a relationship is the power struggle. There is a power struggle in every relationship: parents versus children, owner versus pet e.t.c. The surprising reason behind power struggle ruining relationships is the lack of it. There is no fun when the scales are always high on one side.
Initially, you do it to please your partner, but long term effect is that you feel powerless while your partner feels jaded with all the power. It might be easier to give in or compromise, but a relationship should be about both parties doing the give and take. It may not be an equal tally, but as long as both sides feel fair, that may be most important.
A family of partners and spouses can ruin relationships, particularly the curious ones. If too many people in the family do not like you, chances are they will do anything they can to break you up. Short of framing you for murder, your partner may stand by your side initially; but with constant attack and negative comments, things may look bleak.
While you may find it hard to turn those family members around, it is important not to offend or upset them anymore. Behave courteously, and hopefully your partner can see that you are as nasty as the family paints you to be. If you like your partner but your family does not: remember to stand up for your partner when necessary.
Housework can be a surprising factor that ruin relationships, especially when neither of you want to do it. Work outside can be tiring, and you want to relax when you return home. Coming home to a dirty house can bring bad mood to you and your partner, as well as pests and diseases. Doing housework is also boring and drab, many tend to put it off.
If you can afford it, hire a weekly cleaner to help you keep the home in good shape. Otherwise, set a time on the schedule where you both split up housework half ways. That way the job gets done quicker, and you feel that you have worked together to achieve a common goal. A win- win situation.
Not infidelity, but dishonesty is another thing that ruins relationships. Tell your partner that you are willing to become a vegetarian, and then sneak a beef burger before going home that is cheating. Being honest in a relationship is important to many people as relationships build on trust last longer.
Playing dirty is also a form of cheating, going lengths to embarrass someone, when you have a disagreement, will destroy a relationship. While you may think that getting back at someone is fair, it might be a good idea to take a step back and think before doing. The blame game may catch you by surprise when you effectively ruin a relationship.
Once a word or an action is out, you cannot take it back.