6 Ways to Confront a Cheating Spouse – Tips and Advice
You just read an email from his colleague suggesting that they are having an affair. Or you saw his credit card bill, where he had booked a room in a hotel when he was supposed to be doing something else. Or perhaps a friend just told you what she saw your husband doing. You have just found out that your husband is cheating and it can be devastating. Your whole life seems to be falling apart, and you don’t know what to do. However if you have decided to confront him, read further to find out how to confront a cheating husband.
#1. Find proof
If you want to confront your partner, suspicion is not enough. Many things can be easily explained. Perhaps that email was meant as a joke, or maybe your friend saw someone else and was mistaken. Before you act on your suspicions, you will have to do some detective work.
It might take some time and breaking of some personal boundaries. But if he has been unfaithful, you have the perfect excuse; he broke the trust in your relationship. Having evidence will also make you feel confident. He will not be able to make excuses, and you will feel more confident about yourself. If you are wondering how to confront a cheating spouse with no proof, then think twice.
#2. Plan when to talk
Planning how to confront a cheating girlfriend is a big part of the process. Choose a location and time when you both can talk. You don’t know how you or he will react. Furthermore, if you choose a public place, you are likely to make a scene that will make you feel embarrassed. Thus, choose a private location at a time, where you both can talk and don’t have to rush anywhere.
#3. Have the talk
Also, if you already have the proof of the affair, make a statement, rather than asking him about it. The first instinct from him will be to lie. Don’t give him more opportunities to lie, because it can further ruin your relationship. Hence, present your evidence and be ready to listen to him.
Ask the questions you want to ask. Try to remain calm and not make an emotional scene. It can help you to talk to someone else before confronting your husband. If you stay calm and rational, it might be easier for you to talk things through and get the answers you are looking for.
#4. Give yourself some time
You are feeling devastated and don’t know how to confront a cheating boyfriend or husband. When confronting your husband, you don’t necessarily need to know what you want to do next. Address the reasons why he cheated and talk about the problems you were having.
Similarly, you might need some time to process things, and you should take your time. Don’t rush into any life-changing decisions before you have worked through your issues. Remember, listen to his reasons and keep in mind that everyone can make a mistake.
#5. Decide what to do next
Take time to process what has happened. If you still have questions, you have the right to ask him that. You should decide if you are willing to forgive your husband, or perhaps you believe that your relationship is beyond repair. If you are willing to make things work again, he should be too.
If your husband doesn’t regret his actions, it might be time to end the relationship. This is the time when you need to think about yourself and your future. Ask yourself whether you are willing to live with someone who betrayed your trust. If you decide to forgive, you should mean it.
#6. Move on
You don’t have to worry how do cheaters react when confronted. Your relationship can go two ways; either you stay together and repair what’s broken, or you go your separate ways. If you want to repair your relationship, don’t be afraid to ask for help- maybe you can benefit from marriage counseling.
Also, you should know what your legal rights are in case you decide to end your marriage. Forgiveness will not come easy, but if your partner is willing to work for it, give them a chance. Maybe this is the time when you can work through important issues in your relationship and get closer.