6 Ways to Cope With an Avoidant Person
I love it when I have a close relationship with my relatives, family, and friends. This doesn’t mean that I am cozy but very anxious when I meet them. I might be somewhat comfortable, but I hate to depend on them just as much as I hate someone who relies on me. Here is the issue, I don’t think trust still exist amongst us. That is why I am not always head over heels when I am in love.
Intimacy isn’t part of my life. I find that my partner is always eager to know the good side and bad side of me. But at times I feel like he doesn’t love me or he will never stay or appreciate the real me.I want to unite with that being, but the intense desire scares me away. I define intimacy as an unpleasant and uncomfortable entity that doesn’t benefit me in any way. It’s not me, but I have come to accept that I am an avoidant.
I know my relation isn’t meant to last for long, but I am certain there’s someone somewhere waiting for my true love. In that tone, my partner has to find ways to cope up with me. That’s just a mere summary of how an avoidant person relates with normal people. If you already have one in your thought or life, please scroll further for more.
1. I Didn’t Know He/ She Is an Avoidant; I am Hopeless, I Just Can’t Cope
It comes to point in life where you have to deal with real issues and not just fantasies. Being hopeless isn’t the second alternative if you happen to find yourself in a serious commitment with an avoidant. It can be quite daunting to understand an avoidant, but you are more likely to have a blissful union, unlike others. The secret is to allow both of your conflict to have a balanced state.
An anxious person should be cuddled with utmost care and love. You have to reassure him or her that being independent isn’t the way to go. Above anything else be clear and concise about your end motive. No matter what you do, don’t try to threaten his or her dependency. Yes, the person has a higher percentage of getting angry in a short span of time. You don’t have to change them but cope with their traits. As a side note, don’t think about demanding anything from them. Slow and steady is the sure way to go. Read on.
2. Patience: It’s Worth the Wait
When in a relationship with an avoidant, keep calm and don’t rush. Nothing good comes easy. If you want his or her trust, you’ve got to toil for it. Unlike any other normal person, an avoidant will take the most time to know you better. He or she wants to gauge whether you are trustworthy or not.
They can simply do this by building a strong relationship with you first. If you love an avoidant, don’t rush into things and then later realize that you aren’t compatible. As previously mentioned, an avoidant person instills an end goal, and he or she hates to note a red flag. That is why you should learn to get close to them instead of pushing them away. As a result, you will both build a strong foundation based on true love.
3. You Will Be a Stranger for Them for Sometime
Before he or she cope up with you, you will be forced to wear an unimaginable personality. I know avoidant annoyances and disturbances will be up to the core. For instance, when you ask about their real-life struggles, they won’t mind replying with an end sentence answer. They hate to share their inner and outer strengths.
It’s imperative to note that he or she will take the time to note your presence and how much you mean to them. They might want an array of attention, but with time everything will fall back to place. But you need to note that avoidant will forever take the time to let others people in their lives.
4. Be Independent
As you continue to cope with the said personality, you will come to fall in love with your own time. Just as much as they would have loved to spend that beautiful time with you, they also want time to recharge. Alone time means tons for them. No, they won’t demand for their own time, but their outward personality will tell it all.
They hate to follow their partners or note their whereabouts. If you love to follow your schedule to the core, then marry an avoidant person. She or he won’t bother or interfere with your end plans. Above all, they are destined to appreciate every time that you spent with them. They despise to put their significant other in jeopardy. Instead of encouraging her, you’ll be shocked that she will be the one to advise on the pedestals of life. What you need to do is to appreciate their presence to the core.
5. Even if They Don’t Show It, Avoidant Are Honest People in the World
Unlike other normal people, an avoidant person expresses his or her emotions no matter the state. So at the time of argument be ready to share how and what you feel about the person. Don’t get me wrong; this doesn’t mean that they aren’t frank. You need to grasp that it takes almost a day or two to gulp what you already talked about finally.
I know it can be overwhelming, but you have to find ways to cope. So when it comes to resolving your issues with an avoidant, you better keep it at ease. The chances are that they want to utter that single word, but they hate to play a cat and mice games. In that regard, pacing with their time is their end motive.
6. Be More Than Ready to Identify Their Weakness
When an avoidant person wants to commit to a long-term relationship, he or she will let you know. In fact, they will try their best to hide their awkward personalities. As from your side, you should do the same too. Don’t act as if you care too much because hell will break loose. It’s vital to grasp how they love to distant themselves at times. If this seems to get on your nerves, give them a word go on how you feel when they are far apart. They will love your straightforwardness as well as take your critics in a confident demeanor.
Aside from that, avoidants aren’t perfect when it comes to communication. To avoid a silent mood, be ready to encourage them and have a subtle and gentle attitude. When it comes to intimacy, avoidant prefer to discuss ancient European arts than having an emotional attachment. There is no way an avoidant person will come to envy your physique or attractive lips. This is one of the reasons why you need to be close friends before having a serious commitment. To up their intimate life, you need to spend more time together as well as having jovial conversations.
In addition to the basics, love is destined to pave way no matter the state. An avoidant person will forever be loyal from end to end. Once he or she has earned your trust, everything else will flow like a river. They will surprise you with nothing else than their improvement (new version) to please you. They won’t ever show their weakness but spending ample time with you will be their utmost pleasure.
It comes to a point where an avoidant will no longer be able to hide his or her imperfection. So, it will be much easier for you to gulp their moves. A time will come when they will start to speak of how much they feel about you. Once they fall in love with you, there’s no turning back.