6 Ways You Can Remain Friends With Your Ex
When you have broken up with your partner, it can be painful for many reasons. Maybe the break-up was tough and full of anger, or maybe you peacefully decided to part ways. You spent a part of your life with this person and loved them for many reasons.
Even if your relationship didn’t work out, there is no reason why you shouldn’t stay in touch and simply be friends. It can be hard to get to this stage with your ex, but it is possible. Take a look at these six ways to remain friends with your ex, and maybe you will become real friends.
1. Reach common understanding
Relationships rarely end because both partners decide to do so. Usually one of the partners starts the conversation, and the other one gets their feelings hurt. Psychologists say that relationships which ended due to infidelity, abuse, jealousy or trust issues can rarely lead to friendship.
If you were the one who ended things with your partner, wanting to be friends should also come from you. Although it might give you comfort to know that this person will still be in your life after break up, they might not want to do so.
2. They are your friend now
If you both have decided to remain, friends, you have to treat each other like that. Forget about referring to them as your “ex”-you are friends now. Also, you should never doubt your decision for breaking up. Maybe at some point, you will have such a good time with them that you will start thinking that you should give this relationship another shot.
But that is usually a terrible idea and will lead to more heart ache. There was a reason why you ended things. If you have decided to remain, friends, you should never cross the line.
3. Avoid emotional outbursts
When going through a breakup, you can either tell your ex-partner everything you think about them or simply mourn the relationship in silence. Telling them all the bad things you think about them can damage your relationship to a level from which there is no coming back.
Would you ever want to stay friends with someone who has hurt you badly? Most probably not, therefore remember- if you want to be friends with your ex simply keep the negativity to yourself.
4. It is not a relationship anymore
Now that you are trying to be friends, you have to forget how you treated each other in the relationship. It will not be your business where the other person is all the time and what they do. You can´t also hang around with them all the time because your ex probably also has other friends to hang out with other than you.
One of the most painful experiences will be when you or they start dating someone new. That can be the most challenging part in your friendship. When this happens, you will have to learn to deal with it. If you suddenly get jealous, it can break the friendship. Besides, you will have to accept negativity from your ex´s new partner. Imagining how you would feel in their place can help.
5. Work on yourself
The time after a break-up is a great opportunity for you to work on your personality. Take time to think about your relationship and analyze what you can learn from it. There were probably things you passed on while you were together with someone.
Now it can be the right time to start something new. Making time for yourself and doing things you want to will make you recover from the breakup faster. Once you have moved on from all of your feelings from that relationship, there will be space for you and your ex to be friends.
6. Accept that it might not work out
Being friends with your ex will take a lot of effort. You already know each other- both the bad and the good things. You will need to set some boundaries and always think about what you are saying. Just because you are friends now, doesn’t mean that you can tell them about things you did during the relationship.
Going back to old fights is also not a good idea. There is a lot of history between you, and it might not be possible to get past that. Remain patient and see how things go.