How to End Any Relationship Amicably
Unless you are living on an island, and you have little contact with the outside world, chances are you will have relationships. Work relationships, friendships to romantic relationships will make and break, as you change workplaces or living spaces. For most people, new relationships take time to develop; but it varies with individuals. While you can form a good rapport, there are times where you have doubts about your new dynamic. No matter how old is your ties, sometimes you will have to end a relationship to be able to move on.
For most people, ending an association can be a complicated process. Particularly those who are empathetic, and will cringe at the thought of upsetting someone. Unlike in social media pages like Facebook, where you can block or unfollow someone; real relationships can end badly if you take a wrong step. It is impossible to list all types of relationships and explain how to end them amicably, but below are a few that might of help.
Be Nicely Honest
Honesty works well with people whom you know for a while: co- worker, personal trainer or a friend. If things have not been working out between the two of you, and you would want to end a relationship, then be honest. Breaking up with those you know well takes practice, that is why it is important to be honest with them. Pen down what you intend to say, and check before committing to memory. Be clear and concise, avoid finger pointing phrases that might aggravate the situation more.
It is wise to be honest about the change in dynamic, or why you are ending the friendship/ partnership. Word selection is also quite important, for the message to get across, and not stir any negative emotions. Thank them for all their help, but you want to move onto the next stage of your life. Do not attempt to sweet talk your way out, as they know you well enough to pick up your insincerity.
There is Never A Good Time
For relationships like ex- husband’s mother to breaking up with your partner, accept the fact that there will never be a good time for a break-up. Dragging your feet is not going to make the end any smoother, in fact, it will only intensify your resentment and lessen the hopes of a good break up. Throwing hints might work, but you are only confusing the recipient.
Set a date and time, stick to it. You can make sure to avoid special occasions such as birthdays and death anniversaries. Otherwise, it will have to happen. The benefit of planning to announce that you are ending a relationship is that you have time to think what you want to say.
Do it Face to Face
The most important thing about ending any relationship amicably is to do it face to face. No hiding behind technology or using snail mail. Doing it face to face shows that you are serious, and you are brave enough to confront any consequences. Plus, you can handle any upsets and questions when you talk directly to the person. Breaking up any relationship using social media or text messages still show poor taste, despite the fact that you can look for a date using technology now.
People still appreciate the personal touch, no matter how awkward or painful it is. Another positive fact is that both parties can move on quickly after issues resolve. It is easier to find closure after all questions are answered. Ending things face to face is still the only way to do things, there is no app for it.
The hardest relationship to end is one where you still have to see the person on a regular basis. That annoying cousin, or your nosy mother-in- law who loves a good gossip. Despite having to see them, you can stop them from trying to cozy up to you by erecting a boundary. It would be helpful to have a real physical boundary, but an invisible spiritual one would have to do.
Remain polite, but distance yourself emotionally and personally. Eventually, they will give up trying to become closer to you. Although there might be interesting repercussions. I have tried this method personally because my mother- in- law was treating my home as her own. It took a month or so, but eventually, she stayed away. The downside is she was telling everyone that I am not family orientated. It was difficult, but letting that remark slide and not reacting to it emotionally made her realize that I was not interested in having a relationship with her.
You will not always be the person who is dishing out breakup notices. Emotions run high, and you will feel hurt or shocked. The best thing to do is to give yourself a time out because you might say or do something that you regret when you are angry. Drown your sorrows at home in a tub of ice cream, and make a wise decision. Plot revenge in your dreams, but do not go around exacting it. You are better than that.
Time out is good for everyone, especially if it was a close or romantic relationship. After emotions have stabilized, let it go. You will have to realize that relationships come and go, holding onto things might cause resentments and more baggage. You never know, you might cross paths and be friends again in the future.
Pick a Place
The best place to end a relationship is a semi- private place, where it is quiet enough to talk. However, it should be public enough not to cause a scene. Which is why people prefer to break up in cafes and parks, no one would pay attention to you, unless you scream and shout like a maniac. Hence it is a good idea to break up at home, in the library or at a workplace.
Choosing a place to end a relationship is quite straightforward, but you still have to take note not to break up in places with special meaning. Make sure it is not one of your regular haunts, as people might recognize you, and interrupt your plans. Worse, the news could spread before you end things.
Do it Sober
One of the worst things to do during breakups is to drink alcohol. If you intend to break up with someone, make sure that no one is drinking. First of all, being drunk means lower restraints, and you might say something that you will regret later. Secondly, break up sex might sound fun, but it complicates things later on. If you think that someone is ending a relationship with you, all the more reason to avoid the booze.
Alcohol is good for fun times, but it is bad when you need to be serious. Pick a place that does not serve alcohol, or just do not order them. Ending a relationship sober has more chances of amicable parting. Even though it is tempting: alcohol might make you feel brave, but it can also make you foolish. You can drink after the breakup, but not during.