How To Rekindle The Spark In Your Marriage
When we step into a new relationship, we are engulfed by a variety of emotions ranging from passion, excitement, and desire. But a few years down the line, most of the couples will go through a phase where they feel that something is missing in their relationship.
The spark that initially attracted them to each other, the passion they felt at the beginning of their relationship, the love between them appears to have changed. Many will think that their relationship is no more normal. But the truth is, a decrease in the passion in a long-term relationship is perfectly normal. Love is not lost, it just changes.
In a long-term relationship like marriage, the two partners evolve over time and so does the love between them. We get busy with our lives, works, and kids and in the middle of all these daily chores, somehow, the love and passion seem to fade away. Couples may feel that they are falling out of love, but, usually, that is not the case. All you have to do is put in a little effort and a little planning to fall back in love with your partner. To keep the flame alive, it is important to revisit, renew and rekindle your relationship.
1. Appreciate and Express Gratitude
‘We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.’ In a long-term relationship, emotional disconnection happens quickly because more often than not, our partner turns into just another room-mate. This happens before we even realize it. We begin to take our partner for granted and forget to express gratitude.
Changing this very habit will make a big difference in our relationships. Start saying ‘Thank You’ to your partner. When you start noticing the positive things your partner does and appreciate him/her for that, it will automatically recreate an emotional bond between the two of you. Appreciate your partner for the person they are and for the meaningful changes they bring in your life. Rekindling emotional connect is the first step towards falling back in love.
2. Give Respect to Gain Respect
‘Marriage thrives in a climate of love, honor, and respect.’ You and your partner are individuals who have their own set of interests, habits, and beliefs. Do not expect your partner to be someone else. Accept him/her the way they are. Real love is accepting someone the way they are without trying to change them. If you have differences and want your partner to change a particular habit of theirs, talk about it. Try to find a solution with mutual respect.
3. Spend Time Together
Spending quality time together is extremely important in any relationship. We often get so busy in our daily lives that we forget to take out time for our partners. But to enjoy a fulfilling relationship, it is necessary to break away from the monotony of life and make your partner a priority sometimes.
Try to treat each other the way you used to when you first fell in love with each other. Find out ways to spend time together. Go out on a date, have weekend excursions, watch a movie together or have a chat under the stars.
Try and add fun in your relationship. Laugh together. It is important to put a few things on the backburner for the sake of your spouse. Adding adventure and fun in your relationship will not only help you break away from monotony but will also help in bringing the two of you closer to each other.
4. Take a Tech Break
Technology can be a boon or bane depending on how we use it. In today’s times, we are so busy connecting with a virtual world that we get disconnected from the real world sitting right beside us. Mobile phones, television, computers are adding to our communication woes.
There is nothing more annoying than a partner who keeps staring at his/her mobile phone while you try to make a conversation. Couples need to go on a technology diet and decide a certain time when technology won’t be used at your home. Be it during mealtime or in the bedroom, you and your partner need to cut out on technology and engage in having fun with each other.
5. Control Your Anger
‘Anger is just one letter short of danger.’ When you are angry, you tend to scream and say hurtful things to your partner. But anger neither solves nor builds, it only destroys. The best way to avoid hurting your partner is walking away till the time your anger dissipates.
This indicates that give more priority to your relationship than your ego. If you feel too angry to let go, it is better to write down your thoughts and then tear them up. In any relationship, it is essential to watch out for your words because once they are uttered, they can’t be taken back.
Sometimes, silence can be golden. If your partner decides to stay silent instead of expressing his/her anger, you need to learn to relish the quiet and understand that it is for the betterment of the relationship.
6. Pamper Yourself
A relationship is made up of two people – you and your partner. Unless and until you take care of yourself properly, you won’t be able to take care of your partner. Many of us stop grooming ourselves after marriage because we feel that there is no need to as we don’t have to ‘woo’ anyone. But why should our perspectives about beauty change after marriage?
The definition of attractiveness may change over a period, but the need to stay attractive doesn’t. Never stop ‘wooing’ your partner. To maintain a healthy relationship, it is essential to have a healthy body and a healthy mind.
7. Stay Intimate
Intimacy isn’t just about having sex. It is about being emotionally connected and being able to let your guards down and let your partner know how you feel. Intimacy has many faces like flirting, cuddling or even having conversations. Or souls crave affection, and to nurture our relationships. We need to establish intimacy – both emotional and physical.
These are some of the ways you can rekindle the love in your marriage. If you value your relationship, you will never wait for it to fall apart. You will take the initiative to bring back the lost spark. It’s a choice you have to make every day. The one thing about love that you need to remember is ‘Love must be learned, and learned again and again, as there is no end to it.’