As women, we typically have no issues sharing information to friends and family. Our feelings, our kid’s feeding times to our husbands’ needs are on the table, much to husband’s chagrin. Some things are strictly partners only information, such as the size of his private parts and where he keeps his sweets. You might be forgiven if you share some his secrets, others not so easily.
Here are ten surprising things that you should never share about your husband, for various reasons.
1. His Weak Points
It might sound surprising to you because people all have weak points. Sharing about someone’s weak spot is not a big deal to you, but it is to your husband. Men like to appear strong and flawless, and any weak points may make them look human. Therefore it is not allowed.
Many are also reminded through tales such as Achilles Heel and Samson & Delilah in the bible, that any woman who tells on his weak points cannot be trusted. Weak points are sensitive spots to a man because you never know how much damage it can wreck if it reaches the wrong person.
2. His Success
It is surprising when your husband does not want to share his success stories, but it makes sense when he wants to the knowledge of how all by himself. If he wants to share his story of his success, that is his choice. But it is not yours, despite you wanting to be proud of him, and tell the world how great your husband is.
Sharing success stories without permission can hurt his feelings. Plus, there might be some people whom he would not want to share with. If you do want to share his success, talk it over with your him. This way you know what to indulge on. He will have the knowledge of whom you are sharing it with, and there will be no issues.
3. His Pay Packet
The size of his pay packet is the best kept secret, particularly if it is smaller than yours. Men have the pressure of being the breadwinner of the family, and he may feel inadequate if he is not. In modern society, there are plenty of stay home dads and working moms. The change in dynamic is still new hence people are still looking for the old tradition of staying home mothers and working fathers.
Sharing about how big or small his pay packet can be a pain for your husband. Most wives love to compare how well they are provided for. It may be nasty if they find out that your husband is over or under performing in that department. Best to stay silent about how much money he is making, to avoid any potential headaches in the future.
4. His Fears and Insecurities
Men hate to appear weak, airing about his fears and insecurities is one way to make him so. Husbands might be human, but they like to be seen as a god, especially before the kids. His authority and image are challenged when you reveal that he is afraid of spiders or bugs. Let your children find out themselves, but never throw hints around to push them towards discovery.
More importantly, if your husband had explicitly told you in confidence, sharing his fears is a breach of confidence. Nothing breaks a marriage quicker than loss of trust. Even if he forgives you for sharing his weakness or insecurity to someone else, he might not easily forget. You can blame yourself for the lack of trust and communication.
5. His Fantasies
Sexual fantasies and unattainable dreams are best shared between husband and wife. Men have dreams, but it is not something you share with your friends and family unless he initiates it. Just like his fear and insecurity, his fantasies are not something you should inform other people openly. Your husband may find it rude and intrusive.
Even if you cannot share his dreams with people, you can try giving him the support he needs. People do not need to know things until they come into fruition. Otherwise, dreams and fantasies should stay where they are: in the bedroom.
6. His Family Issues
While wives have no trouble sharing about everything, husbands tend to be more reserved when it comes to family. To him, outsiders should not know about the cracks within the family, or who is the black sheep. Without consent, sharing his family’s problems with friends and your own family is not appropriate. If your husband is a private person, this can be seen as a breach of trust.
Women like sharing information, that is how they release emotions and feel better. But men find it rude and intrusive, particularly when the listener has no business in knowing his family’s issues. Things might get complicated if the news gets into the ears of someone who can make thing worse.
7. His ‘Childish’ Toys
Wives might think that his toys are childish, and share that piece of intel to her friends. It might seem harmless, but to husbands, it is a hurtful comment. His hobbies are a way he could relax from a stressful day’s work, and it is not nice to tell people how childish his figurines or collectible items are. Even if you wish that he finds a different interest, sharing about things that you think is childish can be hurtful.
It is best to stay quiet if you can. Even better, support his hobby. You never know if one of his collectible items may make money in the future. Until then, it is just something that makes him happy, even if you disagree.
8. Things You Haven’t Told Him
Telling your friends things that your husband is not aware of shows that you are not comfortable talking to your partner. If your husband is not aware of issues, the first thing is to tell him and try to help him work things out. No one is perfect in the world, and not helping your husband improve seems petty. Telling your friends his failings may show that you have communication issues.
Instead of sharing to your friends about how your husband is unaware of things, make your husband aware. He might be more thankful for your help, rather than being a subject of gossip between you and your friends. Unless it is asking for ways to approach the issue, it is best to keep some things in the house.
9. His Beliefs
Political and religious beliefs are his, and his alone. Sharing his preferred party, or his religious beliefs is a low blow. Talking about your husband’s interest may be harmless, but telling the world he who he votes for is not ideal. There are other things you can share, politics and religion are not some of them.
With the volatile situation nowadays, it is best to keep some information to yourself. You never know, someone might target your husband just because of different beliefs. Although there is no ill intent on sharing his faith, the consequences might be severe in today’s world.
10. His Pasts
If your husband has a painful past, he might want it to stay that way: in the past. Talking to your friends about how terrible he was treated, or how he had to starve is way through college, is not something your husband wants sharing. To you, sharing might be cathartic, but it might be painful to dredge up memories for him.
Instead, talk about how proud you are, having a husband who is strong. You do not have to divulge in all the details. If he wants to share the story, he will.