16 Relationship Secrets From Married Couples
Relationships are tough to work. They take a lot of time, energy, perseverance, and effort. Sometimes we need those who have experienced a long-term healthy relationship to help those who are just starting out.
So many different factors affect the health and durability of the relationship: society, family, friends, self-esteem, religion, and upbringing. But, the tips from long-term couples can be applied to relationships that come from any background. These tips are tried and true and are simple in their explanation but difficult to execute.
Take a look at these relationship secrets from couples married for 50 years or more to get some insight into how to make a relationship last:
1. Opposites aren’t the best choice for a marriage partner
It has been almost proven that those who have successful, long-lasting relationships tend to be those who are more similar in backgrounds, attractiveness, religious and political views, etc. It makes the long and difficult road of marriage a little bit less rocky.
2. What friends and family say is important
Love is said to be able to conquer all, but it’ll make a difficult marriage if family and friends don’t approve because of the characteristics of the other person. Those opinions are important because they’re the most important people in someone’s life. Plus, each partner’s family and friends will be involved in their life and will get to know their partner, so their opinion is important.
3. Physical attractiveness is a big deal
People like to pretend it’s either nothing or that it’s the biggest deal in the world. But, both of those viewpoints are wrong. Attractiveness is not the most important thing, but it’s also nothing. Relationships begin with some form of magnetic energy, so each person should be attracted to the other. And, even after the relationship has been going on a long time, each person should take care of themselves to help keep that sexual spark alive.
4. Communication is so important
Many people boast of their ability to stay strong and keep their emotions in check. But, in a marriage, things need to come out. They need to be out on the table so that they don’t let resentment build up. People need to hash through their issues and share their honest opinions so that the relationship can thrive.
5. Learn to laugh
Laughter is life’s best medicine. It eases stress, tension, and it brings relief. To help make marriage just a bit smoother and even to make life a bit happier, learn to laugh at each other, with each other, and at oneself. Also, try to find a match that has a similar sense of humor. That way, the jokes won’t turn into tense situations because one of the partners doesn’t find it funny or feel sensitive to a certain kind of humor.
6. Feel “in-love.”
A gut feeling is a way to know if someone is the right person. Each person deserves that in-love kind of feeling. If it’s a potential lifetime mate, then one will have that feeling. But, if that feeling isn’t there, then perhaps it isn’t the right person.
7. Decide on boundaries
One should think of and decide on their boundaries: what they will accept and what they will not. This is important to work through before getting into a relationship. Plus, it will help to weed out the bad relationships.
8. Look out for big warning signs
This relates to personal boundaries. Even if one is in love, they should keep an eye out for big warning signs. Watch how the other person deals with stress and tension. Watch how they treat others, especially those in the service industry.
Analyze how they deal with money and relatives and with not getting what they want. These kinds of things are essential to take into consideration when in a relationship. If there is a big warning sign, then get out! It isn’t worth a long time of misery.
9. Try new things
Long-term relationships can be a bit monotonous. And, people can often become a bit static. They forget to keep pushing themselves and move out of their comfort zones. In doing so, it stretches us and helps us to grow and makes us better. It’s important for couples to keep pushing and trying new things and stepping out of their comfort zones. That way, they can grow and change together. And, it keeps the spark and excitement alive!
Of course, each person needs their own lives and their hobbies, but to help create more intimacy, couples should find things to do together. They can find shared hobbies and shared friend groups, even when the relationship has been going on for years. Don’t let time erode the desire to keep doing things together.
11. Give each other space
Relationships need room to breathe to thrive. Some people may fear to be alone or without their partner, but it can only make the relationship better and stronger for it. That’s because each person gets the space they need to live their own lives and have their self-time. Each person should get to have their friends and own hobbies so that they can bring their whole selves into a relationship.
12. It won’t always be 50/50
Marriages have to be about self-sacrifice and selflessness. It will drive each person crazy if they try to make everything split in half. But, realistically, it won’t always be that way.
13. Be yourself
Each person should feel safe and comfortable to be their person and to be their true self. Even if the two people aren’t opposites, they’re sure to be different in more ways than one. Both people should be able to embrace their personalities and not be afraid that the other person will reject them because of it.
14. Expect problems to come
Storms will rise in all relationships, but they will also leave. It’s blindness to believe that love means that all will be perfect forever. Each couple has their troubles, and they are inevitable. While times will sometimes be tough, it makes it a little bit easier to accept that they will come and go quietly.
15. Don’t be too proud to get help
No marriage is perfect, and sometimes a marriage needs a little bit of outside help. It can be challenging to include someone else in something so personal, but often, outside people have a better perspective than those who are in the relationship.
16. Focus on the good
There are enough troubles and despair in the world. And, it can be so easy to focus on all the bad things in the relationship. But, if we turn our eyes to what is right about it and the partner, then things will be smoother and happier. Life’s too short to waste it on being negative.
The modern world has changed the dynamic of romantic relationships, but there are many tried and true relationship secrets from the past that still apply today. We often forget about these secrets and label them “old-fashioned.”
But, old-fashioned does not mean that it’s inapplicable to today’s world. The above tips can still be applied to marriages today and will help to make them happier, less stressful, and longer lasting. So, keep a positive outlook, communicate, be honest, bring a whole self to the relationship, and enjoy the beauty of a romance that lasts a lifetime.