7 Things That Happens When You Meet The Good Guy After a Toxic Relationship
Many girls find it tough to identify a toxic relationship as the signs are not very clear while others prefer to remain in a denial mode always. Even if the signs are glaringly obvious, some girls find it tough to get out of the relationship due to the fear of being single. Like any other toxic substance, a toxic relationship causes internal as well as external damage to you. It drains you, depletes you and severely hampers your sense of confidence and your feeling of self-worth.
Some girls continue to stay in the relationship with the hope that one fine day things will change. On the other hand, a few women choose to step out of the relationship for their good and move on. The wiser decision is always taken by the ones who decide to let go.
But what happens when you move on and love comes back to you again with renewed vigor and a new face? What if your new romantic interest is a nice man who loves you with all his heart? At that instance, your actions reflect how adversely the past toxic relationship has affected you. Here are some common situations every girl who has been in a toxic relationship goes through when she meets the new good guy in her life:
1. Once Bitten, Twice Shy
Trust is the glue of life. It is an expensive thing as it takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. When you have had bad experiences in the past, you find it difficult to reinvest the same amount of trust. You feel afraid to rely on anyone and always expect the worst to happen. This mentality stems due to the fear of disappointment. Just because your ex-boyfriend treated you in a bad way, you start expecting the same from your current partner too.
No matter how well-mannered he might be, you fail to realize that all men are not the same. The past experiences make it hard for you to believe those good guys do exist. Due to such insecurities and lack of trust, you build a wall around yourself. You form the opinion that by keeping yourself guarded, you will be able to deal with the situations better this time around.
2. Read Between The Lines
Anyone who has been lied to quite often starts doubting honesty. You are always trying to find out ulterior motives in your partner’s actions and keep questioning everything they say. For example, if the good guy praises you, you are not able to take the compliment in your stride.
The thought that the praises were showered because the guy wanted something keeps troubling you. The new experience seems so different that you tend to get disoriented. This habit arises because you seem to have lost faith in unconditional love. In addition to over analyzing things, you also form the habit of over-explaining all your actions and thoughts to your partner who may not be able to make any head or tail of your behavior.
3. Doubt Authenticity
Your current partner is the ideal boyfriend you had been seeking for a long time. He treats you with dignity and respect, takes good care of you, is an honest and loyal man and loves you unconditionally. You are getting what you always wanted to have. But all of it sounds too good to be true for you. You’re constantly in two minds and have serious doubts about him and his genuineness.
4. Push Him Away
There was a time when you loved with all your heart. But all your efforts went in vain, and all you got in return was a broken heart and shattered dreams. This horrendous experience instills a sense of fear in you; the fear to love. Your ex’s behavior makes you lose your sense of self-worth, and your past experiences make you believe that you do not deserve the best.
Hence, when someone tries to show you your true worth and gives you your much-deserved love, the fear gets the better of you. You try to shove the person away from you as you feel that you won’t be able to live up to their expectations. The fear that by loving someone you are giving them the power to hurt you instigates you to push the good guy away from you.
5. Expect Arguments and Fights
In your previous toxic relationship, all you did day in and day out was fight with your partner. It seemed that fights and arguments were your daily doses of love. However, with the good guy, fights become a rare occurrence. Though you keep expecting arguments even on trivial things, gradually you start realizing that your current partner values you more than his ego. A sense of comfort begins to dawn and communication becomes easier.
6. Say Sorry Too Often
Once you realize that he is a keeper and will not let you go, you start valuing him. In a bid to avoid misunderstandings, you become apologetic. You always feel that your current partner will get angry for no reason and it has to be you who have to say sorry just like you did in your past relationship. You are gripped by a constant fear of losing the good guy and hence keep saying sorry to him constantly.
7. Reach The Final Destination – Love
After a while and after taking all kinds of tests of the new sound guy, you realize that things are finally falling into place. You start seeing love in a new light. You discover that true love does not give pain. It is then that you realize that your past relationship was not real love. It was far from being real.
The ghosts of your past slowly begin to fade away and the love showered on you by the new good guy fills your life with light and joy. You rediscover yourself and relearn the art of loving fearlessly again. It is ultimately true love that heals the scars left by fake love.