Do’s And Don’ts When Dating Your Ex Lover
When entering into relationships, people are never certain of their fate. There are two ways things can turn out. First, love could work between the two of you. Secondly, there is the possibility that you might not be compatible with each other. The next thing that would follow is breaking up. While this might sound to be a normal thing to go through, it is painful. Here are a few do’s and don’ts when dating your ex lover.
When love seems to fail between two people, individuals end up feeling disappointed with the notion that they are not lucky with love. In some cases, ex-lovers tend to console each other that they could make their love work for the second time. Truly, this is possible. However, it is quite a tricky process that needs to be handled with caution. Below are recommended ways of dealing with your ex-lover in order to make things work.
1. Rushing Into Things Would Not Work
Yes, you know each other very well. This however does not imply that you should rush into settling down together. This kind of rush will only lead you into the position that you are trying to avoid; breaking up again. Slow down and watch your love grow. If there are any problems that arise on the way, find a feasible way of dealing with them in a mature manner. The advantage of taking things slowly is that it gives you time to build a solid foundation that your relationship needs.
2. Are You Sailing On The Same Boat?
The last thing that you should try to do is to save your relationship on your own. This risks the chances of your relationship sinking. Prior to committing yourself into this love affair for the second time, it is important to confirm that your lover is also yearning to have you back. This means that making things work with your ex-lover requires signs of commitment from both ends. You need to feel that your man or woman also has similar goals. Contrasting goals in your relationship will only create a huge boundary between the two of you.
3. Settle For a 6-Month Rule
Now that you want to get back with your ex-lover should give you a reason to be extra cautious with the moves you will be making. For instance, before jumping in to move in together, take a 6-month break away from them. The main reason for doing this is that it gives you time to recollect yourself. It also gives you ample time to rethink about the decision you are about to make. During this time, your feelings will also determine the direction you would be taking. If at all you feel that you need to give him or her a second chance, go for it with all your heart.
4. Seek For Counseling
Considering the fact that you have dated and broken up, this means that you clearly understand how dating can be challenging. Therefore, when planning to get back with your ex-partner, it is wise that you seek for professional help.
Relationship experts argue that this is an important step that would aid in understanding whether you are getting back together for the right reasons. Well, in most cases, lovers reunite for reasons that they are lonely. If this is your case, there is a possibility that your rebound relationship would not work. Good news is that an expert would clearly point out the problems that your relationship is suffering from.
5. Why Did You Breakup In The First Place?
In order to find a solution to your failed relationship, an important step would be to first consider the main reason why you went separate ways. If for example you separated due to an addiction habit, ask yourself whether the habit is still there. When there are no changes in your former lover then expect the same issues to eat you up.
The worst could likely happen as you would be more frustrated. Consequently, before trying to make things work in your former relationship, consider whether you would be dealing with the same issues. Change is inevitable. If he or she loves you, they ought to be ready to meet halfway and compromise.
6. Don’t Remind Each Other Of The Past
It is a great idea to find a way of dealing with the past that led to the failure of your relationship. Nonetheless, this does not mean that you should keep reminding your lover of the mistakes they once did. Always keep in mind that you are on a fresh start. Therefore, focus on the positive side of your new love affair. Negativity will simply drain your energy and before you know it, you would be throwing each other’s bags out of the window.
7. Forget About What Happened When You Were Apart
Another tip to keep in mind is that you should refrain from asking your lover what they did when you had broken up. In other words, this is like bringing up the past. Yes, he might have had a fling with another woman. However, this is none of your business. Focus on perceiving your relationship as a fresh start of trying to make things work.
8. You Should Not Mistrust Them
Lack of trust will only render your relationship doomed right from the beginning. Nevertheless, this also does not imply that you should enter this relationship with your eyes closed. It is advisable to be cautious and refrain from distrust. Give your relationship a chance of developing. This means that if you do not trust your man or woman, there is no room for development whatsoever.
Falling in and out of love is a common thing. Regardless of this, falling out of love for the second time could be distressful. It is for this reason that you are advised to take in the above tips in dating your ex-partner. Basing on your birth dates, you could also calculate the likelihood of your relationship working using this zodiac compatibility test.
This gives you an assurance that you would not be making the same mistakes twice. Please remember to seek for counseling before taking any steps in resolving your former relationship.