7 Tips For Dating Your Best Friend’s Ex
As per the Girl Code, falling for one your best friend’s ex is a heinous crime. It not just ruins your close friendship but also puts a big question mark on your character. ‘How could you do it?’ is the first question your best friend will shoot at you before walking away in a rage.
Falling in love and dating your best friend’s ex is a tricky situation indeed. You run a high risk of losing your best friend as well as your love at the same time. However, it is not as villainous as it may sound. We fall in love by chance, and it is not something we can control.
Before you express your feelings and start dating your best friend’s ex, here’s what you must do to ensure peace at both ends:
1. Consider The Time They Broke-Up
Did your best friend and her ex-boyfriend broke up years ago or was it only yesterday? The fresher the break up is, the more is the pain. Every person requires time to move on in their lives. If you start dating right after your best friend broke up, it will cause a major trouble in your friendship as your best friend may think that you already had feelings for their partner and were just waiting for them to break up.
It might also be interpreted that you may have played a role in their breakup. It is important that you value the emotions of your best friend and give him/her time to heal before you move forward and express your feelings. A hasty decision can also get you entrapped in a rebound relationship. Hence, before you start thinking about dating your best friend’s ex, you must think about how much time has passed since they broke up.
2. Think About How They Broke Up
Break ups can be good or bad depending on the circumstances. For your good, you need to consider the way your best friend and his/her ex broke up. If it was an amicable break-up and they remain on friendly terms, it is a positive sign for you to go ahead.
But, if it was a messy, dramatic breakup, then you need to think twice. Both your best friend and their ex may still be high on emotions, and there might be many unresolved issues between them. Refrain yourself from adding insult to injury. Wait for things to calm down.
3. Find Out Whether Your Best Friend Has Truly Moved On Or Not
Your best friend may have told you time and again that he/she is ‘fine’ and have moved on. But you need to understand that just because a person has broken up, it doesn’t mean all their love has died. Instead of relying on what your best friend says, find out the truth through their actions.
Do they still get angry when you mention their ex’s name? Do memories of their relationship bring tears to their eyes? These are clear signs that they are still not over their ex. Don’t march ahead and start dating your best friend’s ex while he/she is still pining over their ex. It will only lead to rifts between you and your best friend.
4. Take Lessons From The Relationship
You are moving towards the road already taken by your best friend. Before you read ahead, you must find out what went wrong between the two. Did the one you are willing to date treat your best friend in the right way? Did he/she ever cheat? Did they intentionally do things that could hurt your best friend? All these questions will give you a clear idea whether the one you are falling for is the right person to date or not.
5. Contemplate The Worthiness Of The Relation
Once you get to know the kind of a person your best friend’s ex is, you will also be able to determine whether you should place him/her over your friendship or not. Is the one you think you’re in love with worthy of your time and attention?
Should you risk losing a best friend over that one person? Don’t commit the blunder of losing a close friend just for the sake of an infatuation. It will be a decision you may regret later. Think about the consequences and carefully contemplate the worthiness of the relation before taking any decisions.
6. Talk It Out With Your Best Friend
Even if you have made up your mind that you’ll move ahead and date your best friend’s ex, it is essential that you let your best friend know about it. Trust is the foundation of your friendship, and to maintain that trust, you must let your friend know about your feelings. It will not only ensure him/her about your intentions but will also show that you respect their emotions too. Being honest with your best friend is the only way you can avoid hurting them.
7. Don’t Flaunt Your Relation
After you start dating your best friend’s ex, you still need to maintain a distance from your best friend, especially, when you are with your partner. Don’t try to make your friend feel sad and jealous. He/she may be over it, but memories can stir up unwanted emotions too. Jealousy is a form of hatred built upon insecurity. Don’t let this jealousy get the better of your friendship. Tread carefully.
Crushing on your best friend’s ex is a complicated situation and dating them is no less than sailing in a turbulent sea. For you to glide smoothly, you need to follow a few rules and move ahead with caution and love.