7 Things To Know When Dating A Widow or Widower
Dating someone who has lost a beloved spouse is a very delicate situation because when someone loses a loved one, it alters their lives forever. When destiny snatches the partners away from someone, the heart breaks into a million pieces and their entire life appears to be shrouded in darkness. Love is the only thing that can drive away this darkness and heal the broken heart. If you decide to date a widow/widower, your love becomes that ray of hope in their lives. Your love and support can give the grieving souls a new lease of life altogether.
Dating a widow/widower can prove to be the best decision of your lives as they can become the best partners. But dating a widow/widower has its unique challenges. Overcoming the challenges and finding lasting love is possible if you approach the sensitive issues properly and keep the following things in mind while dating a having a relationship with a widow/widower.
#1. Have They Got Ample Time To Grieve?
Before you express your love and affection towards the one who has lost his/her spouse, make sure that they have got ample time to shed tears at the sudden loss. If someone has lost their spouse more recently, they may still be in shock over the untimely death. It is not just sadness that a widow/widower feels.
They may be going through an emotional turmoil and be facing different emotions like anger, sorrow, helplessness, etc. Don’t see the death as your chance of grabbing the love. If you do so, you will end up hurting their emotions, and it may lead them to draw back from you. Instead, be a friend who understands the pain and helps in healing. Your act of kindness and love may make him/her realize that you’re the perfect one when a widower/widow falls in love again.
#2. Are They Ready For A Serious Relationship?
Men and women have different perspectives about dating and marriage. The one you are willing to date may be open to having a relationship but may never consider getting married ever again. They may be looking for a companion to share their grief with but may not be interested in anything serious. There is a possibility that you and your partner are not on the same page.
Before you start dreaming about your future together, make it a point to get a clear idea of their expectations and views about the relationship. Have they moved on? Are they open to dating as well as marriage? Asking such questions early on will save you from unexpected revelations and heartbreaks later on. Also, ask them about their departed spouses. Many widow/widowers find it awkward to talk about their departed spouses with their dates but appreciate if the topic is broached by the date itself. It gives them a way to express their emotions without hurting the sentiments of their dates.
#3. Don’t Consider The Departed Soul To Be Your Competitor
Falling in love with a widow might not be easy. Your date may have moved on and accepted you as their future partner, but their departed spouses still hold an exceptional place in their hearts and their lives. Do not try to prove that you are a better partner. Don’t compare yourself with your partner’s deceased spouse. It is essential for you to understand that your date sees you in a different light and the departed soul is not a threat to your relationship. Try to create your place in their hearts instead of trying to snatch away the place occupied by their departed spouses.
#4. Understand That Dating A Widow/Widower Is Different From Dating A Divorcee
Many people tend to confuse between dating a widow/widower and dating a divorcee. In reality, the two circumstances are poles apart. A widow/widower may have lost their loved ones when they were enjoying a blissful life full of love with their spouses. On the other hand, for a divorcee, the end of their marriage occurs because they were not happy with their spouses and love was lost between the two of them. The loss of a loved one is always more painful than a broken marriage. Hence, the way you deal with the two situations should be different.
#5. Give A Thought To Children
A child who has lost a parent may not be quite receptive to you. This applies more to kids who have grown up. They may hate the thought of their mother/father dating someone new. It is hard for children to accept you as their family member and it may also instill a fear that their widowed parent may forget about their deceased spouses. However, once a child sees how happy their mom/dad is with you, they may start accepting you as well. Time plays a significant role in this case. You need to keep working towards building a healthy relationship with the children and their widowed mom/dad.
#6. Be Wary Of Red Flags
From the outside, your date appears to have moved on and got over the grief completely. But their actions seem to speak a different language. Do they keep reminiscing about their deceased spouse now and then? Do you find them building shrines out of every little thing possessed by their spouse? These are intense signals that your love interest is nowhere close to moving on. Keeping memories is normal but denying to let go of anything that was used by their spouse is not. Some of them try to play the ‘widowed card’ as an excuse.
Some of them try to play the ‘widowed card’ as an excuse for their behaviors. Try and talk things out. If your date refuses to alter their behavior even months after being in a relationship with you, realize that they are not willing to accept the new love. Do not let your date use their marital status to manipulate you and play with your emotional well-being. These are a few ‘dating a widow problems.’
#7. It’s A Balancing Act
The best moment comes when your widowed love interest has finally decided to welcome you into their lives with open arms. All you need to do now is handle the relationship between tenderness and care. Remember that a widowed date needs a bit more understanding and a bit more leeway than a normal date.
Do not try to cut off their bonds with the people attached to their deceased spouses. For example, let your date stay in touch with their ex-in-laws if they want to. If your partner expresses grief on special days like anniversaries or birthdays and becomes nostalgic, try and share the pain. It will make them feel better and add more value to your relationship too.
Dating a widow/widower is a balancing act. This article gives you signs a widow is ready to move on. You must be self-assured and look at them through the lens of compassion. Remember that they are just starting over and with a little sensitivity and support; you can surely lay the foundation of a new life and everlasting love.