10 Startling Things You and Your Husband May See Differently
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus as the adage goes. Men and women are so very different. It’s almost as if we speak different languages. We were raised differently and society expects different things of us. Therefore, we have different life experiences based on our gender.
While that may sometimes be an unfortunate situation, love still exists despite all of the barriers that may come in its path! But, just as love can still prevail over any obstacle, there are things that couples of the opposite gender may face. Sometimes they are things that are unexpected. These are ten things each couple may see differently:
That’s right! This cornerstone and foundation of romantic relationships can be a stumbling block for many. People either don’t want to talk about it or they don’t want to have it! Men and women often look at sex differently. They may have different fantasies that they don’t share with their partner. Furthermore, they may have different things they’d like to try.
Stereo typically, women tend to be tamer in the bedroom whereas men usually fantasize about something more “wild”. But, it could also be the other way around! This can be very frustrating and uncomfortable if both partners can’t find a middle ground or make some compromises in this area. But, the best thing to do is talk about it!
2. The Relationship
Men (again stereo-typically) don’t view romantic relationships the same as women or they don’t get the same things out of them. Women usually see relationships as places of intimacy, care, and love. Therefore, if something’s wrong in their partnership, it affects the other areas of their life. on the other hand, men seek those things and enjoy them. Relationships tend not to be the focal points of their life. They appreciate and enjoy them.
What makes them feel like men is to have a purpose, a path, and respect. This can cause a lot of friction in a relationship even if it’s switched. Both partners want to feel loved and safe in the relationship. When one partner feels not as important as the other (due to their difference in views on relationships), then things begin to sour. Communication is key here.
This can be a big sticking point in relationships. Whether it’s the man or the woman, money gets in the way. That’s because we were raised with certain feelings and ideas about and towards money. This is concerning how we make it, its use and how to save, etc. This is something to DEFINITELY talk about before the marriage. It’s important to get everything on the table in this area. This is because one doesn’t want to expect something, but then gets frustrated by it’s not being fulfilled in the marriage.
4. Languages of Love
Everyone has their own ways they give and receive love. These are called the “Love Languages”. No matter what, MOST of the time, both partners will have different ideas about love. It’s important to take the time to know how one’s partner gives and receives love.One partner gives how they would like to receive. Sometimes the other partner doesn’t feel that way. As a result both people may feel empty and resentful at the end of the day. therefore they will not filled with love and happiness!
Yeah, this is a huge one! It doesn’t matter if two people come from different religious backgrounds if they’re willing to make compromises and work together on it. But, if they come from two different backgrounds, AND aren’t willing to either make any changes or simply accept the person’s religion as what they care about, then things will be quite rocky. There are usually big differences in unforeseen places, so take the time to discover each other’s spiritual journeys and beliefs and see if there aren’t ways to compromise and work it out.
Children can be a joy to a couple, but they can also be a lot of work. Depending on how each person grew up and their own life experiences, they may have different ideas about children: how many to have and how to raise them. This isn’t something to be taken lightly. Because it has to do with new young lives, couples should take the time to come to decisions about children and what kinds of ways they would like to raise them.
7. Alone Time
This may shock and surprise. But, some couples actually feel completely differently about this topic! One partner may want to spend all their time with the other person (or people in general) and have no need for alone time. People time gives them the energy and peace they require. But, the other partner may desperately be seeking alone time to recharge and restore their energy levels, but they aren’t sure how to tell their partner.
It can be very…embarrassing to hear one’s partner suggest they need some time apart. But, each person should respect the other’s opinions on this matter and try to work out the best possible compromise. Because, if each partner gets the time they need to be their best selves, why not try it?
8. Free time
This is similar to alone time. Often, couples will have VERY different view of how they want to spend their available time, depending on their jobs, what makes them feel relaxed, and what they have fun doing. One partner might like exercising, and another might like sitting on the couch and playing video games. When couples have different ideas about this kind of thing, then a lot of resentment can build.
That has to do with expectations and what they get out of relationships.
Then, it can also encourage harsh words and arguments. This is something to assess in a relationship to see if it’s a deal breaker.
Additionally, one partner could be lacking time of their OWN hobbies and activities to do. This is a conversation to have. Not only is it nice for couples to share hobbies, but also need their own things to bring their full.
9. Alcohol and Drugs
This can become a major deal breaker for a relationship. Depending on one’s background, culture, and upbringing, each person may have different views on alcohol and drugs and tobacco. Now, for most people, taking illegal drugs would be a deal breaker. furthermore, consuming any mind-altering substance (even alcohol) is a deal breaker. Many people prefer to date nonsmokers while others don’t mind.
Getting a feel of the other person’s views is quite important. Also, consider actions in this area before heading too deeply into a relationship. No one, apparently, wants to be entangled with someone who has a great drug or alcohol problem, but it’s even important to discuss the little things: how will alcohol fit into their lives, is smoking OK, etc. Keep the communication flowing.
Something that’s so great about today’s world is that it’s so much more global than it ever was. We can travel wherever we want coming face to face with all different cultures and backgrounds. We have so much more access to countries and cultures different to our own, and sometimes we may find ourselves in a relationship with someone from an entirely different culture or ethnic background.
That’s awesome! But, it is important to consider the culture of both parties and how it will affect the relationship. One gender doesn’t want to feel repressed or taken advantage of. Neither partner wants to feel as if their background or culture isn’t good enough and won’t be acceptable in the marriage. That’s something significant to consider before heading into a long-term permanent relationship.
In conclusion, all of these things are naturally probably going to be different with each couple. And, each partner in the relationship may have different views and opinions about them. But, that’s why it’s so important to communicate honestly and with love and to let love guide one to the right decision. What would be best for the other person and for the relationship? Perhaps take all of these things into consideration before taking those vows and see if the relationship will make it until the end!