Laying The Foundations of a Marriage: Courtship

Foundations of a Lifelong Relationship

We live in a time where long-term relationships are becoming a thing of the past and divorces are becoming more prevalent. It is not only arranged marriages that are walking on the path to divorce. Even couples who have had dated for a long time before ultimately tying the knot are heading towards divorce.

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In this article, we will take a look at how courtship can bring about a change and lay a strong foundation for marriage. Courtship is important in both arranged as well as love marriages. Firstly, we need to get a clear idea about what courtship exactly means and how it differs from dating. Courtship is that period when you are thinking seriously about taking your relationship to the next level, i.e., like marriage.

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Dating, on the other hand, is that time when you are just focusing on having fun with your partner and not think about any kind of long-term commitments. The period of courtship usually begins after a couple gets officially engaged and is planning to get married soon.


If your marriage has been fixed by your parents and relatives, there is a lot to explore about each other. It is evident that you hardly know your partner. Courtship offers you that chance to explore without the fear of being judged. If you have been dating for a long time, you know each other quite well. But, courtship offers you a chance to see your partner in a different light like the one with whom you will be spending the rest of your lives with. You get an opportunity to weigh the pros and cons and ultimately decide whether you are compatible enough for each other.

Right Foundation in Courtship

1. Spiritual Dimension

Every person is made up of spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs. Courtship before marriage helps you and your potential partner explore these dimensions and find the perfect blend between them. When you start exploring the spiritual aspects, you get a chance to look into the deeper side of your relationship.

It is a time when you begin to understand your partner’s religious beliefs, moral values, and their life goals. What makes your partner happy? How does he/she intend to move forward in their lives? What do things in life they value the most? All these questions can be answered by exploring the spiritual dimensions of your partner’s life.

2. Mental Dimension

Likes, dislikes, education, and hobbies comprise of the mental dimension. Are there any common interests between you and your partner? Are your education levels compatible? Do your political beliefs differ or are the same? What are the likes and dislikes of your partner? During courtship, you have the freedom to find the answers to all such questions and thereby find out whether you and your partner are suited to each other or not.

3. Emotional Dimension

Emotions are what make us human. Your partner’s frame of mind may not be completely like yours, but there needs to be a sense of compatibility between the two. After marriage, everything will not be rosy. You will have to face a bunch of emotions like happiness, sadness, anger, frustration, excitement, etc.


It is important to be able to embrace and accept your partner in their best and worst moods. During the courtship spell, you get to know the emotional aspects of your partner and can then judge whether you will be able to deal with all the mood swings for the rest of your life.

4. Physical Dimension

Physical dimension is consists of factors like attraction, intimacy, romance, and lifestyle. What is the meaning of romance in the eyes of your partner? How does he/she view intimacy and sex? What kind of lifestyle does your partner prefer? What are his tastes when it comes to things like fashion, decorations and other physical aspects of life? How does he/she manage his/her finances?

You get a deeper insight into thoughts of your partner on topics that cater more to the physical needs of a person. Physical intimacy is limited in courtship. This is an advantage as you can easily find out whether the one you are considering for marriage is into love or lust.

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5. Understanding

Apart from these four aspects, courtship offers the families involved to mingle with each other. In many relationships, there may be cultural differences. Courtship makes it easier for families to bear the cultural shocks and bridge the gaps between them.


For a healthy and long-term relationship, it is essential to connect with your partner on all levels – be it emotional, physical, mental or spiritual. Finding a perfect blend of all the dimensions will help you find out the true compatibility. You need to become friends first.


Courtship gives a couple the golden opportunity to develop a long-lasting friendship that will ultimately add more value to their relationship. How you behave during your courtship can tell you a lot about how your marriage will fare. Courting is all about intentionally building a foundation for marriage. Courtship may be long or short, but it is essential to get to know your partner well before you take the big plunge.

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