11 Surprising Things For Successful Marriages
People define successful marriages differently, most might agree that long-lasting partnership counts as a success. For some, happiness and the feeling “like it was yesterday” are proof that marriage is strong and happy. Others will say that a fruitful marriage is one where partners stay friends or one with strong financial strength. No matter how you measure your matrimonial success, here are 11 surprising things that all successful marriages have.
1. Less Technology Time
Instead of liking each other’s comments on Facebook, or send sexting, people used to do more romantic things to communicate. Writing love letters and talking face to face is how people used to communicate with each other. The divorce rate then was a lot lower than the Age of Technology. Keep your phone at home when you are out or have technology free days. It is worth to note that Facebook is the new number one reason people get divorced.
Hence, if you want to have a successful marriage, reduce your online time dramatically. Have more meaningful conversations over dinner, or watch your favorite drama on television together. It is the bonding time that keeps marriages alive.
2. No Stress about Sex
Studies have shown that people who have sex once a week tend to have more successful marriages. Once a week routine is a minimum for a successful marriage, but the average is about eighty two times a year. This number takes into consideration kids, career and all. So if you fall below the recommended frequency, you will have to hustle.
Sex is a great stress reliever, relationship improver, and headache cure, so there is no excuse to skip some together time. It should not be hard to schedule a time in the week to do the deed.
3. Be Positive
A positive outlook can give people a sense of hope. If you are a glass half empty person, it might be worth trying to see the glass as half full. Having a positive mindset is proven to improve emotions. It is important to note that being positive is not the same as being realistic. You can be positive that your marriage will be forever, but you have to accept that it is not perfect and needs effort.
In general, positive minded people are also more pleasant to be with, as they have a better outlook in many aspects. Hence it is not surprising to see that positive people tend to have successful marriages compared to glass half empty person.
4. Some Privacy
You might be loving married as a couple, but successful marriages have some secrets. Couples who have some time off to do things alone have good partnerships. This goes to show that married people should not be joined at the hip for a lasting marriage; because it is the union of two individuals.
Incidentally, couples to keep some secret tend to have better marriages as well. Spouses who keep secrets that might damage their relationship will experience better relationships because there are fewer fights than others.
5. Date Nights
Pay a babysitter, or hire a nanny. Many studies show that date nights are crucial for successful marriages. It is after all the couple to the kids, usually. Rewarding yourselves after a hard week is good for distress. Plus, spending some time together alone allows you to have conversations that your children should not be listening to.
Frequent date nights help relationships, which in turn maintains the marriage. If you have grandparents who would want to spend an hour or two with the grandkids, take advantage of free nannies. A happy marriage is also important for children’s emotional growth.
6. Married Later
Studies show that people who marry after the age of twenty-three experience a more successful marriage. Main reasons include maturity and better financial security. A successful marriage relies on many components, one of it is a financial strength. Getting married later allows you to establish some savings, and find your dream job.
Getting married later also means that you have time to grow and experience life before settling down. Life experiences shape who you are and what you look for in the partnership. Hence, you are more certain in your choice of spouse. When you marry later, it will not just because of love.
Many successful marriages will have spouse calling each other their best friend. Friendship is lower maintenance but is durable. Friendship is a different type of relationship that married couples should have. You understand that you are two people who have varying interest. Being friends means watching each other’s back and not being bitter or angry when things go wrong.
Even if you are divorced, your relationship would still be successful because you remain friends. It is a positive relationship that inspires children to go out and look for their soul mates. Some would view that as a successful marriage, despite no longer married to each other
8. Not Losing Sleep
Successful relationships rely on couples who can think straight. When both spouses lose sleep over kids, things get nasty. Sleep deprivation means less ability to control emotions, and have a worse physical and mental health. Hence it is essential to have good quality sleep because your relationship relies on sound decisions.
Many old cultures recommended that couples sleep separately. This is due to different commitments or sleeping habits. Modern society expects couples to sleep together for convenience’s sake, but it was never the norm. If your spouse is keeping you up, it might be a good idea to try sleeping apart.
Helping each other out are traits of a good friendship and successful marriage. Helping each other out is like team building, you cannot go wrong with being a helpful person. People who help each other out are happier because they have done something to make other people happy. Being helpful allows you to be the hero your spouse needs you to be.
Little things like fixing things around the house, to preparing dinner make you a person who is independent. You are a contributing half in the marriage, so you matter. If your spouse is a helpful person, remember to be thankful that you have such a great partner.
Be generous with money, praise, and kindness. Spoil your partner from time to time with gifts. If you cannot afford expensive presents, buy small items that have meanings. You can be generous with positive words to encourage or make someone happy. Generosity does not always mean money.
A generous person often has more successful marriage, because people love a person who shows that they care. If you are not used to be a giver, you can always try and start small. A small praise a day, to being kind at home, it does not take much to make someone happy.
11. Trips Without Kids
If you can afford it, take a trip or two without kids. Those who honeymoon can remember those beautiful pre-children days. It can be financially and emotionally stressful to have a family trip. So, a childless holiday will be a right holiday.
You do not have to do long or far, a trip as partners overnight in a hotel while someone else looks after the kids can do wonders. A journey without kids helps you remember the good times you had when you were married, and will contribute to strengthening the relationship.