15 Ways to Cope With a Relationship That’s Coming Apart
Relationships take time and effort to build. After the initial stress-free, the happy stage comes the time where reality takes the shine off your dreams. Even soul mates need to put a good effort in maintaining a relationship. Just because it is true love does not mean that thing will not fall apart, even people separate from family and parents. In this world, all relationships need effort. But there are times when all the hard work will not stop the relationship from breaking. When that happens, here are fifteen ways to cope with a relationship that is coming apart.
It would be time to evaluate where you stand in the relationship. Just because things are falling apart, does not mean that it is breaking. Sometimes, things that seem like they are falling apart are actually falling together. If your relationship is facing a lot of troubles, it might be the time for you to find out what is truly happening by taking a step back. Taking a break does not mean that relationship is going to end, but it might be in a direction that you have not been expecting.
In all relationship advice, communicating is one way that frequently pops up. Communication is an important aspect in all relationships. That is the only way you will know what your partner is thinking or planning. If you are bad at verbal communication, try letter writing or leaving a voice mail. Whatever it takes to know thoughts and plans for any relationship, strong or weak. The awkwardness will pass, but you will not get closure if you do not talk it over.
3. Admit It
When a relationship is coming apart, the first thing to do is to evaluate if it is indeed so. After talking it through with your partner, and you both agree on that fact. Next, comes admitting the fact that it will be over. No point in going on denial and fighting against the inevitable truth. You are only prolonging the pain and the negative cycle, because relationships are a two-way street. Not admitting to what is coming may blind you towards better things that are also coming your way.
4. Avoid Finger Pointing
Avoid the blame game; it makes you bitter. Not only finger pointing is petty, but it also helps no one. Instead of blaming each other for a relationship that is coming apart, thank each other for the contributions and the lovely time you have had. No one likes to be blamed for something that is not in their control, and your tendency to push the blame does not make you a saint. Admit that you also have a role to play.
Visualize a future without a relationship can be painful at first, but how about that job promotion that might move you out of town? How about the possibility of moving overseas now that you are single? Your relationship is coming apart, but your life goes on. It might help for you to visualize the wonderful new partner that you might find in your journey forward. Breakups are sad and painful, but they are part of life.
You have invested your time, dreams and emotions into relationships, and now that it is coming apart, it is natural to be devastated about it. Keeping your emotions bottled up can be bad for your mental health, which will also affect your physical well being. You should release your sadness and frustration by crying it out or other better ways. Drinking yourself into a stupor or taking drugs is not the correct way to express your sorrow, you are just hurting yourself.
7. Hide from Social Media
Tempted to post about your pain on Facebook, or ranting about the break up on Twitter? Hold that thought, as it is a bad idea. You might get temporary relief from the pain by sharing it with your friends in the virtual reality. But remember that all the negative things that you have said online might come back to haunt you. If you have the urge to write, then you should do it on a piece of paper, and then burn it.
8. Find An Ear
Friends and family will often lend a sympathetic ear when you are going through a relationship that is coming apart. People understand the pain that you are experiencing, and usually are happy to lend a shoulder for you to try on while listening to your sad stories. It is good to have friends, but be careful not to overdo it. If you have a friend who can dish out the dirt to keep you in check, then all the better.
9. Acknowledge the Pain
It hurts; everyone knows that relationship hurts because you have vested your emotions and effort into building a life together. Trying to laugh it off, or pretend that you are not hurt, is a practice that might only hurt you. You might lie about not feeling it; people know that a breakup hurts. Instead, lashing out at those who care about you will just burn more bridges.
10. Be Courageous
You might feel afraid to find love again, but be courageous. Love is something worth waiting and looking for. It might not seem that way when your relationship is coming apart, but a new person will come along. Knowing that you are a strong person who can withstand the storm, and understand that you will come out stronger at the end of it. You might not feel it, but you are a courageous person for moving on.
11. Recognize Your Weak Points
When your relationship comes apart, you might find much about your self. For instance how vulnerable you feel when you have less money or no place to stay. Knowing your vulnerability when a relationship is coming apart helps you. You can learn many things from it, and next time you will not be caught unawares.
12. Let it Go
Letting go of a relationship can be hard, you might become nostalgic and reminisce about the old times. When a relationship is coming apart and is unsalvageable, let it go so you can seek new pastures. If the past ties you firmly there, you will be unable to move forward into a better future.
13. Do Not Look Back
When a relationship is coming apart, avoid being nostalgic and looking backward. The wise man said that our eyes are at the front so that we look forwards. Looking back at the good times and promises will not help you move forward into a new future. You can reminisce later, but not when a relationship is coming apart. It will not help you cope because you might be holding onto the past.
14. Look Forward To A New Life
The uncertain future is an excitement that you get to experience when your relationship comes apart. Change is the only constant in life; it is just unfortunate that your current partner will not be looking at the future with you. The plus side is, you can find a new person to move forward with you.
Many people advise against the rebound sex, or sex before breaking up. It muddles things and gives some people false hope. Also, it is not the best coping mechanism; it may help you accept the finality of the broken relationship. But if your partner is one that is unable to move on, probably avoid this coping method.