15 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Relationship
No one sets off planning a divorce when they marry; separation can be a painful process because people expect marriage to be until death. While some divorce is necessary, marriage has become toxic and unbearable; others can be due to growing apart or falling out of love. Except for domestic abuse, there are many things you can do to avoid ending your marriage prematurely. The commitment of staying married to a person takes effort and dedication, so here are fifteen ways to divorce-proof your relationship.
Not every method starts when you say ‘I do.’ All relationships take work, and marriage is just another step you take in your life. To divorce-proof, your relationship is the same as keeping the love alive because it takes an effort to maintain relationships. Marriage is proof that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, so here are the ways to be together forever.
1. Wait Three Years
Studies have shown that three years is the magic number for a lower risk of divorce. The studies concluded that if you have been dating for more than three years, you are less likely to end up in divorce when you marry. If you are ready to commit, the number of years you have been dating is not a big factor, but it certainly helps to know your partner better before tying the knot.
2. Clean Break
Past relationships and ex-partners can wreak havoc in a marriage if there is no closure. Ensure that you and your partner have a clean break: burn all bridges if necessary. To have a new beginning, you must write a complete ending. If your partner is failing in this area, chances are the past will come back and haunt you.
3. Avoid Financial Stress
Perfect ring, perfect honeymoon or the perfect wedding can strain finances. If you have to take a loan to get that, then it is better to take a rain check. Studies have shown that financial stress is a big factor in marriage breakdowns. Getting married is the important aspect of your relationship. The rest can take a back seat, particularly if it meant less stress for them.
4. Find The Nice Person
Your mother always insists that you find a nice person to be with, and she is right. An individual who is in good health, and has an agreeable nature is more likely to stay married; this is a study at the University of Chicago. Hence people always complain that the good ones are taken, because they are less likely to suffer a divorce and make a return to the dating scene.
5. Problem Solve Together
To solve a problem, you have to tackle the problem together. As a couple, problem-solving together creates a situation where you know about each other’s needs and expectations, and find a middle ground. When you find a solution, implement it together. Once you solve the problem, you can move forward as a unit. No hidden resentments and regrets, which are the causes of divorce later.
6. Remember The Friendship
Before you are a spouse, you must be friends. When romantic notions wane, you can fall back on the friendship and companionship that you both share. Many long marriages always have partners that are best friends and lovers. Love may come and go, but friendship keeps the relationship alive. Friendship is a special bond people share, more of a promise than a commitment.
7. Do Not Be Helpless
Having a partner is great until you are constantly expecting your half to do all the work. Avoid falling into the trap of getting someone else to do the job. You should contribute to work and finances, as long as you are able. You are partners, not dependents. A partnership requires equal contribution and attempts and is better for your emotional and mental health not to feel helpless.
8. You Are Still Important
When you marry, people start thinking that you and your partner are a unit, rather than two separate individuals. The truth is far from it: you are two individuals in a partnership. Marriage is a union of two unique people. Hence, you are still important as a person. Avoid falling into the trap that you are your partner’s shadow or vice versa. Break out and be yourself more often, and it will be good for the marriage.
Write a love letter, a cute message or just a short note to your partner. Communication comes in many ways, as long as you exchange thoughts and dreams. Marriages stay strong and alive because of communication. Studies have shown that couples that stop communicating have a higher risk of divorce, compared to couples that air out their grievances.
10. Give Support
If you have a family, give support to your partner during tough times. Stand up for your spouse when your family criticises. Uphold the rules that are set for the children. Providing support not only means that you are on your partner’s side, but you are also showing it to everyone. Showing that you support your spouse is an important habit you should practice to divorce-proof your relationship.
11. Get Support
It is not only important to give support; it is crucial to accept the support you get too. A couple means that you can rely on each other physically, emotionally and spiritually. In marriage, you should be thankful for the automatic support that you have, and accept help when you need it. No one is perfect, but marriage is a partnership. If you are aiming for a marriage for life, you have to accept or get support from your spouse.
Sharing a few common interest helps keep communication channels open. Divorce-proof your relationship by finding something to share. Maybe a cooking class, or learn a language together. Doing things as a family or couple strengthens the relationship, and it helps you grow up as a unit. Plus, it makes you feel less lonely compared to learning things alone.
13. Let It Go
Sometimes you have to let things go. That anger, resentment and unfinished leftovers. Do not harp on things, and nagging never helps improve relationships. Let bygones be bygones, remind your spouse not to repeat offend again. If you continuously tell your partner of the past, your relationship cannot move forward correctly. Letting things go is also better for your mental health because all that emotional baggage can cause some serious problems
Listen by using your eyes and ears. Sometimes the cues tell you things that your partner is not saying. Everyone has something to say, but you also have to return the favor by listening. Marriage is about communication, and listening is an essential half of discussion. More importantly, listen to what is not being said. A healthy marriage is one when both sides are listening to each other.
15. Remember Your Commitment
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that people forget. Once you sign that dotted line or say your vows, you have to mean them. It takes an effort to keep a commitment, and you must remember the commitment you have made to your spouse. It takes two to save the marriage alive, so remind each other of the promises you have made from time to time. This is why people are renewing their vows during anniversaries.