How To Deal With Hookup Culture?
Generation-Y is immersed in a culture that is popularly known as the ‘Hookup Culture.’ This culture has been proudly invented and introduced by the Generation-Y itself. In the literal sense, hookup culture means that one particular culture which openly accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters. There are no bindings of emotions and commitments in such relationships.
The idea of a ‘date’ in this culture revolves around the notion of getting sex from your partner. Most of the people from the younger generation are fascinated by these no-strings-attached relationships as they have the freedom to run away from emotional bonds and commitments. As adults of this generation, we fear to fall in love and we fear the tearful breakups. The idea of hookups stems from this fear.
Many of us will argue that ‘sex’ enhances ‘love’ and by hooking up with several men/women, we are just trying to find out that one perfect partner. But not many of us will accept the fact that hookups focus on just physical pleasures in the absence of any kind of emotional bonding.
How can we find the ‘perfect partner’ when we are not even considering the emotional aspects of the relationship? Given a serious thought, we will find numerous ways how the hookup culture is ruining the essence of true love:
Problems With Hookup Culture
1. Traditional Dating is Dying
Generation-Y goes out on a new ‘date’ almost every day and has been doing this for quite a long time. But, their date is nothing but a hookup. Every other day, a guy goes on a ‘date’ with a girl with the sole intention of getting her to sleep with him.
The idea of ‘dating’ is in ruins. Dating was never easy; it was a form of art that required convincing skills. Men and women practiced hard to acquire the required socializing skills. In the hookup culture, all we do is convince the one sitting across the table to sleep with us.
The intriguing factor of going out on a date, the flutter our hearts felt while talking to our date has all vanished, and we have turned into a bunch of non-interesting, peculiar individuals who lack actual ‘dating’ skills.
2. Casualness makes us Cowards
The main focus of hookup culture is casual sexual encounters. We are engulfed by a sense of casualness in these no-strings-attached relationships. But what happens when you meet someone with whom you want to fall in love? We get so habituated to the casual approach that it becomes difficult for us to get out of the groove and think about love and long-term commitments.
On the other hand, we fear rejections and this fear makes us cowards. We lack the courage to express our love and also fear of being understood. Many of us may have a history of casual relationships before actually finding the one true love. What we may not have thought about while engaging in such casual relationships begins to trouble us later when we want to fall in love. What if our past hampers our present?
3. Objectification is the Order of the Day
‘Evil begins when you start seeing people as things.’ This is what exactly happens in hookup culture. Being a desensitized human being who wants nothing but physical pleasures, you start seeing your partner as an object rather than a human being.
Your entire attention is focused on satisfying your physical needs and then moving on. Rarely, a person who is part of hookup culture will make an effort to know his/her partner. This lack of connection is one of the worst aspects of this culture. As a part of this culture, we fail to understand that we are more than just bodies. We are unique; we are human beings, we deserve better.
4. When Sex becomes Easier to Get, Love becomes Harder to Find
‘Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.’ A culture which tends only to the physical needs of a person and not the emotional ones are built on a weak foundation. Most of us who are aggressively involved in this culture will find it tough to find true love and build a healthy relationship.
A healthy relationship involves respect, honesty, communication, clarity, and passion. These traits are beyond the understanding of a person who has been having one-night stands for a long time. We are so busy catering to our physical needs and disconnecting ourselves from the emotional ties that we forget the ways to seek a deeper bond with someone.
5. It’s Dangerous
Hook up relationship is not just dangerous for our health but it also hampers our self-confidence. Frequent one-night stands with several men/women who are not well-known to us expose us to the risk of contracting STD’s. Also, we prefer drunkenness during hookups as it makes it easier for us to lose inhibitions.
This intoxication can lead to alcoholism and also lead us to make bad choices. Many of us may see hookups as stress-busters, but it is making us lonelier. It creates a sense of emptiness in us as there are no emotional bonds. The fear of being alone and single encourages us to engage in more hookups but never motivates us to find a real partner. We allow these casual relationships to exploit us that we fail to seek a deeper one.
In case of women, many of them live with the hope that one beautiful day her hookup partner may fall in love with her. She believes that a series of nights with the same man may make him seek more than just her body. With this lingering hope, she may sometimes reluctantly participate in such activities. But at the end of the day, all one faces is heartbreak. The heartbreak shatters our self-confidence leading us to become lonelier.
It is possible to fall in love more than once. But, hooking up is an entirely different phenomenon which has no relation to love. If we carefully analyze the circumstances, we will understand that it is merely the pressure of having casual sex that is eclipsing the desire to pursue a meaningful relationship.
Hookups hurt us in more than one way. It is turning us into creatures that love mating and fear love. It is high time we kill this culture before it kills us.