8 Signs You’re Afraid To Fall In Love
‘I have no time for love.’ This is a common line used by most people who are single and show that they are not ready to mingle. There are many reasons for not wanting to fall in love, and they may be valid as well. But, for some people, it is an excuse for running away from love. But why would anyone avoid getting into a relationship and experience the magical feeling called ‘love’? It might be plain fear of falling in love.
In medical terms, such a fear of love is termed as ‘Philophobia.’ People who are afraid to fall in love may not necessarily be aware of their fear, but they will have tons of excuses for not committing to a relationship. Are you one of them? Here are a few telltale signs which indicate that you’re scared to the bone of falling in love:
1. You Can’t Easily Trust Anyone
Trusting your family and friends is completely different than trusting a person from the opposite sex. One of the main reasons for being afraid of love is trust issues. Trust building is an important exercise in every relationship, and it takes years to develop fully. But this exercise seems to be futile for you when it comes to trusting in love.
You are always scared that the new person will betray you and screw your life. You may have had trusted someone in the past who broke your heart as well as your trust, and you’re afraid that the same thing will happen again. Hence, you’re simply not willing to invest your time and emotions and trust someone.
2. Your Past Keeps Haunting You
Once upon a time, you fell in love with someone, but you ended up being hurt and in tears. A long time may have passed by, and you feel that you’re ready to hit the love road again. But when you start to like someone again, memories of your past comes flooding back and forces you to take a step back. You are grasped by a feeling of uneasiness, and instead of focusing on the new love interest, your thoughts keep going back to the one who broke your heart and left you lonely. Your past experiences keep haunting you and prevent you from falling in love again.
3. You Think That Relationships Are The End Of Independence
You have started off a new relationship with someone you like and the initial days are all happy and breezy. But just after a few days, once the honeymoon period gets over, you start feeling trapped. Commitment chokes you out, and the idea of staying in love with one person appears boring. According to your beliefs, independence ends when relationships enter the picture. You always feel that you will have to let go of your freedom and alter your life if you commit to a relationship. A committed relationship makes you feel suffocated and burdened by expectations and responsibilities.
4. You Categorize Yourself As Unlovable
When you are a ‘philophobic,’ you constantly feel that you are not made to be loved. You always feel that you’re not ‘love material’ and no one can truly fall in love with you ever. Your perception about love is that it is for sensitive people and not for independent, strong-willed people like you. You are critical of your love quotient and think that you won’t be able to live up to the expectations of your partner.
5. You Are Open To Dating But Not To Relationships
Dating does not involve commitment. This is the reason dating appeals to you, but relationships don’t. You love the freedom dating gives you. Dating, according to you, is fun as you get to meet new people and enjoy the attention of the opposite sex without getting too serious with anyone. At the end of the night,
6. You Freak Out At The Thought Of Sharing Your Time And Space
A person in a relationship will have to make extra time for nurturing their love. Also, spend quality time with their partners. But you love your solo time, and the thought of sharing it with someone freaks you out. You are not ready to accept someone who will eat into your time and space in life. You love to be free-spirited and independent kind of person and don’t want to be tied down by anything. You’re always focused on yourself and strive to be a better version of you each day without having someone to interfere.
7. You Don’t Want To Make Your Family And Friends Feel Secondary
You cherish your family and friends and consider them to be your top priority. But when you fall in love and embark on a new relationship, you will have to spend a lot of time with your partner. You will want to spend as much time as you can with your partner so that you can get to know them better and give wings to your love life. But, in the midst of all this, your family and friends may start to feel neglected. You may not remain available for them all the time, and you’re scared that this may make them grow apart from you. You believe that to keep your friends and family happy and on the top of your priority list, you’ll have to sacrifice love.
8. You Form A Notion That ‘Love Doesn’t Work’
Many times we are surrounded by couples who failed miserably in their love lives. It may be our parents or our siblings or our friends. All we can see is heartbreak and trauma around us. You see couples fighting all the time, and it makes you cringe. All the despair caused by failed relationships makes you believe that love is not perfect and it doesn’t work at all.
If you are facing these symptoms, it plainly speaks volumes about your fear towards love. But, we all are human beings who crave love. Just because one relationship didn’t work out or just because there are bad relationships does not mean that you will fail also. Love is imperfect, but it is worth the effort. If you don’t overcome the fear of falling in love, in the long run, it will have adverse impacts on the quality of your life. It will ultimately make you feel unhappy and isolated. So, though love appears to be scary, it is time for you to shed all your inhibitions and take the risk head-on.