6 Reasons For You To Be Frank In A Relationship
Honestly is the best policy. We have all heard this time and time again. However, it is easier said than done, especially when it comes to a relationship. Just how honest should you be when you are in a relationship? How do you avoid hurting feelings while staying open and honest at the same time? A lot can be said about being frank and open with your partner, and so many reasons exist as to why honesty is, in fact, the best policy.
Reason 1: A Good Relationship Is Built On A Foundation Of Trust
A relationship must be built upon a foundation of trust. You need to know you can trust your partner. If they cannot be honest about the simplest of things, how can you expect them to be open and honest about the things that matter? To put it in another perspective, do you want the other person to lie or keep how they really feel from you?
If the shoe was on the other foot, would you want honesty and openness? It works both ways. If you want honesty, you have to give it in return. Otherwise, the relationship will be based on complacency and nothing deeper than being fearful of hurting the other person. Think of how doubtful the other person will be of your honesty if they find out years later how you felt was opposite of what you say to their face. The results could be ugly.
Reason 2: Be Yourself
You are an individual. You have your views, your personality and your way of dealing with life. If you are constantly holding back or lying about what you really think and feel, are you being true to yourself? The answer to that is a resounding no. So many times at the start of a relationship, people try to be the person they think the other person wants them to be. You are trying to impress this person. You want them to like you and want to see you again, or is it you want them to see the you that you are trying to be? Who you are is going to come out sooner or later.
Not being honest, lying about what you think and feel, all of that is going to come up sooner or later. By being open and honest, you are being true to yourself, and you are showing the other person the real you. After all, that’s the you that you want them to love in the end.
Reason 3: It Is okay To Disagree
No one is going to agree on everything. We all may agree on some things but disagree on others. Everyone’s opinions and feelings are valid, and you should be allowed to express yours as should your partner. It is all in the delivery and how you express it. It is called civil discourse, the ability to discuss a controversial topic, having opposing views but listening to what the other person has to say even if you do not agree with it. If you bite your tongue and never truly say what you feel on a topic, all the while disagreeing with your partner, how fair is that? At some point, if the person you are with is agreeing with you on every single thing, you have to wonder if they are truly sincere with you.
Reason 4: It Shows Respect
Being frank and honest with the other person in the relationship shows you respect them and consider them your equal. It shows you care enough about them to tell them how you really feel. Not only is lying about your feelings a sign of disrespect, but it also is insincere and patronizing. You can still be honest and open with your partner but be respectful at the same time. It is all in the delivery.
If your girlfriend asks you, “does this dress make me look fat?” don’t answer with a “yes.” You can find a way to say the outfit is not as flattering as other outfits she has worn before are without coming across as a jerk. If the outfit does not look good on your girlfriend, she would rather hear it from you than go out in public in a dress that looks horrible on her. She could just as easily say she does not care what you think and wear it anyway, but at least you were honest.
Reason 5: It Makes Life That Much Easier
Say you are in the honeymoon phase at the start of a relationship, and your significant other makes you a romantic dinner of their favorite food, salmon. The problem is, you hate salmon. In fact, you hate all fish completely. However, you go along with it because you do not want to hurt their feelings. You somehow manage to stomach the dinner despite the strong fish taste that makes you want to run to the bathroom. Sure, you are polite. Apparently, the person who made the meal put a lot of effort into it and wants to make that meal special for you. That effort should mean a lot, and if you do not thank them for cooking a nice meal for you, then yes, you are ungrateful.
However, after that meal, your significant other would think you loved it so you will have it again and again. It will become your special meal together, signifying that one special dinner you shared at the start of your relationship. From then on you have to keep up the ruse. You are stuck until that one day when you cannot take it anymore and blurt out, “I hate salmon!” Odds are, your significant other is going to look at you and ask why you did not tell them that sooner.
It is an awful lot of effort keeping something that simple in and not being honest in the first place. Why put yourself through all of that? Not only will you not have to suffer through endless meals of fish, but you will hurt the other person less by just being kind and honest with them after the first meal. You can tell them politely you are not a big fan of fish but still thank them for making you such a well-balanced meal. Trust me, it is best for all involved.
Reason 6: It Keeps Life Interesting
Think about it. Do you really want to be with someone who just agrees with everything you say? They like everything you like because you like it: your favorite restaurant, music, hobbies, television shows. There is something exciting and interesting about being with someone who challenges you and makes you see things in a way you might not otherwise see. Be open and see things from another perspective. You may just like what you see or hear, for that matter.
So if you find yourself wanting to hold back and not say what you really think or be honest about how you really feel, think about where you want this relationship to go. Is it worth hiding your feelings for the sake of a true understanding of each other developing? Be honest. Be frank, but be polite. The other person may appreciate more than you will ever know.