14 Tips on How To Break Up Without Hurting Your Partner’s Ego
Breaking up is one of the hardest things to do, and a break up is not a nice thing to go through. You may have enough provocative reasons to call things quit. But a break up doesn’t always have to be messy. If you genuinely loved and cared about your partner, you would not want to see them hurt or bruise their ego.
1. Do It In Person
As a mature person, you ought not to stop seeing or communicating with them with hopes that they understand you no longer want to be with them, they are no mind reader.
Break up with them in person, don’t text or call to tell them that its over(breaking up with someone over IMs or text means you have little respect for them and the relationship you had with them), except if it is a long-distance relationship.
2. Don’t Play The Blame Game
This person might have hurt you while you were with them, but play no blame game. Don’t tell them how awful a human they were, how insensitively and selfishly they acted while you were together. Don’t blame them for the crash. Bringing up old issues would only make things worse.
3. Don’t Give Flimsy Excuses
You don’t have to cook some watery lie to take an easy way out. Weaving a weak excuse may make your Ex-think it is all a joke or that they could win you back. The best thing is to be sincere and firm. It is okay to say the basic differences between both of you. Be sure to make your partner know that you are breaking up with them for some reason you believe cannot be fixed.
4. Say Great Things About Them
No matter how bad the relationship was, this person must have been a darling to you couple of times, and you must have benefitted from them in few ways. Tell them about this. It could be anything, “you helped me to realize what I wanted,” “you saved me from self-destruct,” tell them and be sincere. Tell them how much you valued the good times you had together.
5. Refrain From Using Abusive Words
Do not use insulting words when breaking up with your partner, no matter how deeply hurt or infuriated you may be. Also, refrain from snapping or shouting at them.
6. Logical Reasons
It is important to give them a logical reason for breaking up with them, maybe something about your goals, preferences, not aligned, or the distance. Make sure that this logical reason is not something about them but about you or the relationship itself.
7. Answer Their Questions Truthfully
It is normal for the person to have loads of questions they need answers to from you. These questions sometimes may hurt, but you need to answer them truthfully and sensibly to avoid hurting your partner. If they asked what you didn’t like about them, don’t talk about that please, it will lead to complications.
8. Avoid Comparisons
Perhaps, you’ve found someone else you want to be with, the last thing you should do is to compare them with your ex at the moment you are breaking up with them. You can just tell them that you’ve moved on, or avoid the digression.
9. Don’t Use Intermediaries
It is possible that you both met through someone, but delivering your breakup message through this person is such a low blow.
10. Stay Away From Break Up Sex
Having sex with your ex just after a break up could be destructive. Having sex with them can somehow dissolve the wall you already built between you two and pull you back into the relationship. It may also hurt their ego after, because of the feeling of being used. Sex after a breakup depicts that there are still traces of emotional connection; something you have no interest in having with them anymore. The aftermath of the break up may lead to this person being hurt for the second time and left with a bruised self-esteem. So it is best that you break up with them in an open space, to avoid this.
11. No Payback Mentality
This person might have cheated on you or done something hurtful to you, if you love them, you won’t spread rumors about them just to get even.
12. Give Them Space
Psychologists say that breaking up with a partner is similar to losing them to death. When you break up with someone, the loneliness for the first few days hits you so hard you may cry; you miss the good things and even unpleasant things about them so much that you want to call them but don’t. It is important that you both stay away from each other for a long time to heal separately. If you feel like staying friends with them, make sure they heal first and are emotionally capable to understand and handle the terms of the relationship and also make sure to set boundaries. If they keep calling or texting, figure out a way to make them stop without being rude or hurtful.
13. Choose Your Breakup Day Wisely
Avoid breaking up with your partner when they are going through a personal crisis or during a holiday. It is better to choose a working day so they can get busy the following day.
14. Pick An Appropriate Place
Don’t break up with your partner in a place where they would feel more vulnerable than usual. Avoid breaking up with them in a public space where they might feel ashamed afterward when they cry. Choose a neutral setting that is comfortable for both of you.